navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #41 » Alone
Open Poetry #41
Post A Reply Post New Topic Alone Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States

0 posted 2007-07-24 08:20 AM


Alone

I sear the pain into my mind
--endeavoring to keep it near--
from sorrows dealt of every kind;

yet search the sky with hope-filled eyes,
that mock the track of every tear,
as in my soul is naught but lies.

I've been alone for most of time,
despising, still, that lonesome feel,
as lilting tune and perfect rhyme

caress my soul where wind blows clean,
--and where another's heart can peel--
with knowing touch for things unseen,

my self-made scars that keep me blind,
and close my heart to what I'd find...
...if ever I was so inclined.

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

© Copyright 2007 John L. Hunter - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2007-07-24 08:50 AM


I felt every word of this one John.  Deep penning here...
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
2 posted 2007-07-24 09:24 AM


my self-made scars that keep me blind,
and close my heart to what I'd find...

We do forge the bars of our own prisons, don't we? Powerful, poignant write... I feel this one to my very bones.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2007-07-24 10:43 AM


outstanding rhyme scheme!

this really hit home for me, because I've been alone for a long time and I can really relate to that last verse...

I never really had to be alone if I didn't choose to be...just seemed better that way

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
4 posted 2007-07-24 11:27 AM


enjoyed
BBGrrl
Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181
BC, Canada
5 posted 2007-07-24 12:23 PM


Well crafted.  Enjoyed.
JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
6 posted 2007-07-27 01:23 PM


Hi, GS.

I am so pleased that you felt the emotion in this piece.  It means a lot to me that people are able to access those types of feelings to my humble writes.

John

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
7 posted 2007-07-27 01:27 PM


Thanks, Suthern.

We do forge the bars of our own prisons, don't we? Powerful, poignant write... I feel this one to my very bones.

We do indeed, as have I.  Fortunately for me, a bright young soul came along and knocked down my bars...and now we're expecting.  Life is good, even if I am still able to reach down to the old pains and feelings and pen a sad piece...from experience.

Thanks for the kind comments.

John

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
8 posted 2007-07-27 01:32 PM


Hi, PS.

I experimented with a rhyme scheme that I think I created.  In any case, it feels original!

Yes, Shadows, I, too, chose to be alone for many, many years.  And as I now (miraculously!) finally find myself in a new relationship--and a great one at that--I have chosen to end my self-imposed exile.  I am beyond happy that I have...

John

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
9 posted 2007-07-27 01:33 PM


Thanks, vandana.

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

JLHunter
Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557
CA United States
10 posted 2007-07-27 01:33 PM


Thanks to you, too, BBGrrl!

I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #41 » Alone

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary