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Open Poetry #41
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Bronzeage
Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 197


0 posted 2007-07-21 07:16 PM



Sugar sand for twenty miles
and we are alone
as the tide recedes
to reveal a brand new world
of broken shells and polished glass
and trash from the sea.
Little foot prints
fill with foam, dwarfed
by the track of a walking crane.
I stand in the surf
holding back the Gulf of Mexico
to shield you from
sharks and stingrays.
But today the only danger
is a napping crab
in the high tide debris
who wakes to your
stooping curiosity
to do his castanet dance
to a shrieking song
that charms the gulls,
leaving crab tracks
back to the Gulf
and toe prints
halfway to the dunes.


© Copyright 2007 Bron Zeage - All Rights Reserved
Jess
Member
since 2006-06-06
Posts 243
Washington
1 posted 2007-07-21 08:21 PM


Well you hooked me with the first line. The image you created was so clear and had a salty, beachy feeling. Great first post!
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2007-07-21 08:35 PM


Thanx for this.  I had never thought of it
this way until you painted the picture of
the crab dancing,  it's claws like castanets.
Good write, thank you.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
3 posted 2007-07-21 09:13 PM


Very well written, my friend...didn't even have to visualize...you showed it well...

jwesley

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2007-07-21 09:24 PM


firstly...welcome to Passions! Glad you are here!

secondly...this is a touching poem because I live about 15 minutes from the gulf and it is a beautiful place indeed

matter of fact, I am beet red and in pain from this morning's visit which was a little longer than intended


JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2007-07-22 05:14 AM


Enjoyed this flow of words...James
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
6 posted 2007-07-22 06:13 AM


beautiful
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
7 posted 2007-07-22 07:58 AM


Beautiful !   RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
8 posted 2007-07-22 10:24 AM


BronzeAge~

WELCOME to the PiP pages of blue~

This is a great entrace piece~

I like the thought of the little sandcrabs playing the 'castanets'~

Was just at the beach last week and watched them scurry around and about ... next time I will know the song they play~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -     noles1@totcon.com   

gwaihir
Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 58
Sub-tropical, USA
9 posted 2007-07-22 12:17 PM


I have seen the crab dance you describe.  Great images that transport me right to the beach.  I can almost taste the salt from here.    
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
10 posted 2007-07-22 12:22 PM


love love love this!

welcome to Pip!!
I look forward to reading more from you

BBGrrl
Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181
BC, Canada
11 posted 2007-07-22 01:22 PM


I love the imagry and tenderness of this poem, Bronze.  Very, very sweet.

Good to see you posting some of your work and look forward to more.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2007-07-22 06:52 PM


Oh boy, am I going to enjoy your poetry.
Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email
for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now  " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
13 posted 2007-07-23 08:39 PM


I enjoyed your posting.  This past Summer I caught this very event on tape.  We laughed all the way home...from the beach.
Regards,
INclan

Bronzeage
Member
since 2007-07-20
Posts 197

14 posted 2007-07-25 01:26 AM


Thank you, everyone for your kind words and welcomes.
A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
15 posted 2007-07-25 05:23 AM


sorry I missed this first post, I am getting ready to head to the beach myself, your poem took me there, allowing me to have a taste before I go...

~ARH

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