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Open Poetry #41
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God and Chips Please
| Open Poetry #41 |
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God and Chips Please |
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Fairplay Member
since 2007-01-15
Posts 222England |
The devil is in all of us We don’t give him Praise? The shortcuts we have taken The money we have saved Though if you are an angel Why should you praise God? Doing all the work yourself Now that really does odd Remember if everyone was good Both would be redundant Ahh but then both food and Love Would have to be abundant So many times I’ve broken rules Don’t know why they were written Half of them were wrote by fools There's plenty in "Great Britain" So I am left to ponder Will I just what I wish Wait for God to swim to me Perhaps he is a Fish Eric Lance Davies [This message has been edited by Fairplay (07-17-2007 07:10 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Eric Lance Davies - All Rights Reserved | |||
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BBGrrl Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181BC, Canada |
I like the whimsey here. I think this poem would benefit from standardized line lengths - I just get a whythm going and then it's gone - I find it distracts me from the poem. |
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Fairplay Member
since 2007-01-15
Posts 222England |
Tried to make them the same length without breaking the rhythm.... The devil is in all of us but we don’t give him Praise? The shortcuts we have taken and money we have saved If you are an angel why should you then praise God? Doing all the work yourself to me that just seems odd Seems if everyone was good both would be redundant Ahh but then both food and Love would have to be abundant So many times I’ve broken rules I didn’t know who had written Half of them were wrote by fools, that’s just in "Great Britain" So now as I sit and ponder, doing pretty much what I wish I can imagine God come swimming by…. Perhaps he is a Fish Eric Lance Davies |
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