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Open Poetry #41
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2007-07-17 06:51 AM



the old woman would read the words
on her frigidare with chips and gravy
a poem by her son when he was alive
written to god about sparrows
and forgiveness and coffee smells

she would talk to the lord then
about how she loved him
how she missed him and poppa
since they went out in the boat
and didn't come back home again

her old eyes would get watershine
she would rub the poem paper slow
like a little girl finger painting
trying to make their faces appear
so she could kiss them goodbye

sometimes the lord would talk too
she would listen and smile
and turn on tbn and the preacher boys
then just go to heaven for a while
sitting there beside the gold road

watching for the familiar of her men

© Copyright 2007 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2007-07-17 09:30 AM





Thank you for this one.


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2007-07-17 09:46 AM


this should have had a warning! Made my eyes sting...  
Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

3 posted 2007-07-17 09:48 AM


very touching, Dark
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
4 posted 2007-07-17 10:06 AM


a wonderful one.  esp

"her old eyes would get watershine
she would rub the poem paper slow
like a little girl finger painting
trying to make their faces appear
so she could kiss them goodbye"

very touching and emotional

beautiful

enjoyed

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
5 posted 2007-07-17 10:37 AM


Most beautiful!  You warm that chill off my morning.

A

Edward Grim
Senior Member
since 2005-12-18
Posts 1154
Greenville, South Carolina
6 posted 2007-07-17 11:37 AM


This is one of the best poems I've seen on here in a very long time. Cheers mate   - Ed

“Well all the apostles, they’re sittin’ on the swings, sayin’ I’d sell off my savior for a set of new rings.”

ladylisa
Member
since 2007-04-29
Posts 342
Florida USA
7 posted 2007-07-17 01:31 PM


Wonderful!!!!  This is why I love with all my heart.  Great poem......
BBGrrl
Member
since 2007-07-17
Posts 181
BC, Canada
8 posted 2007-07-17 01:47 PM


Oh, my.
Very sad.
Well done - I very much enjoyed this.

dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
9 posted 2007-07-17 01:50 PM


this one fish-hooks me right in the heart!

touching write...

g

"...Never regret anything that made you smile..."

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
10 posted 2007-07-17 03:06 PM




your heart is showing
and it looks good


nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
11 posted 2007-07-17 03:56 PM


Yes, this is the "You" I especially enjoy reading~~

M

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
12 posted 2007-07-18 06:17 AM


most humble thanks to each of you for your review of this soul side seeping..pipkrew you are a blessing to my mind, thank you

ms sun, you bless me

_______

ms suesea, humble thanks to you

______

ms drauntz, thank you for the read

________

kahlil friend, thank you so much for the touch


________

ms az, lil lady you smile me thanks babe


___________

ed, thanks sir for the touch

____________

ladylisa, thank you so much ms for your read


________

ms bb, thank you for the read


_____

dgv, you bless me thanks to you


________

MMs, thanks babe for your smiles


__________

ladyone, your reads are special, thank you for the moments



rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
13 posted 2007-07-18 06:21 AM


"watching for the familiar of her men"


So many emotions vie forth from memory to present with that one perfect ending line, which seems a string that's pulling my heart right out of me. When you write this way, the whole world seems fragile. Come back with a hug.


love,
reg

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
14 posted 2007-07-18 06:25 AM


regalone, a very slow hug...dirt road private river kind, thanks babe
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
15 posted 2007-07-18 01:03 PM


her old eyes would get watershine
she would rub the poem paper slow
like a little girl finger painting
trying to make their faces appear
so she could kiss them goodbye

You've taken us right into your poem... right into her room... Fantastic heart-touching work!!!

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

16 posted 2007-07-18 08:11 PM


sometimes, you touch all the right place,
just so...

thank you D, for the touch.  

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
17 posted 2007-07-19 06:53 AM


suthern, thanks my friend


___________

ms gs, thanks babe

mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox
18 posted 2007-07-19 11:05 AM


i havent been on this site for awhile...for a reason. but its good to see that there are still true poets here.
lovely and sad.


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
19 posted 2007-07-19 05:35 PM


thank you tuesday
Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
20 posted 2007-07-19 06:58 PM


Well Sir, youdaman. I'm never disappointed when I read what your ink bleeds. This is perfection. I see images and feel emotions that only you can evoke. Much obliged for your sharing.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
21 posted 2007-07-20 06:35 AM


larry, thank you sir for the eyed-bye
Earl Brinkman
Senior Member
since 2010-03-03
Posts 1183
Osaka, Japan
22 posted 2010-09-30 05:48 AM


This is outstanding.  Wow!
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
23 posted 2010-09-30 07:39 PM


Don't know why I went to see the "Today's Topics", but I feel sure blessed by finding this poem up today (Earl finds pearls!) It gave me goosebumps.

Going to read it once again.

Love,
Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
24 posted 2010-09-30 09:29 PM


Margherita...

Indeed...

Earl digs deep...

and uncovers many treasures.


Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
25 posted 2010-10-01 06:15 AM


thanks you guys....

EB, Mar and Sun...you bless me

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
26 posted 2010-10-01 08:17 AM


Thank you, Earl, for reviving this one. I hadn't seen it and would have missed a beautiful piece of work.

The best poems can come from the simplest subjects or emotions. You painted a great one here, DS. I can envision and feel it very clearly in it's melancholy way....superb.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
27 posted 2010-10-01 02:52 PM


humble thanks deer...
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