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Open Poetry #41
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2007-07-14 10:39 PM



that I am indeed lost in the
canvas of this form


so I watched the changes in you
and me
as if I were the souls edge
where sea and tide rise --
where moon greets shifting stars

with the passing crumble of stone/s

who will guide me to the 'rest' in nights
while I drift on some winter storm
awaiting each crystal
to form her beauty

I am as empty

as the rose
that tries to touch the rivers bend
the season of air between
palm and prayer


the press of body
between grain and sand
where silence fills you

so the rain will fall
wet upon your lips

drops of tin and stone

and I will search for the dust of you
in broken glass
&breaking light

to paint color on warmth of flesh
and echo my vacant dreams
to bury the grey of stone

in the amber of my sleep

to remind me how orchids
cry


and I am always
within the shades of you
~~
~~**~~
between echo and dreams
lies the farewell
~~**~~





~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

© Copyright 2007 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Mistletoe Angel
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since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
1 posted 2007-07-14 11:01 PM




(angel friendship hugs) Oh Lauren, I've missed you and your emotional, imagery-laden poetry ever sooooooo much, dearest friend, this made me tear up as I know the feeling ever too well of being concealed somewhere between the many shades of one simple color deep in another I knew all too well, yet sometimes you just don't exactly how you can ever get back and understand exactly how it is you make that someone feel, and that's the hardest part of all often! (sigh) Bless you, dearest friend, what a beautiful comeback, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other"

Mother Teresa

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
2 posted 2007-07-14 11:54 PM


very beautiful indeed.

enjoyed

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
3 posted 2007-07-15 12:16 PM


This is beyond lovely.  You stole my breath.  You painted a masterpiece for my eyes and my mind.  I don't want to gush, but I have no words to describe how much your poem moved me.

A

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
4 posted 2007-07-15 08:09 AM


and I will search for the dust of you
in broken glass
&breaking light
to paint color on warmth of flesh
and echo my vacant dreams
to bury the grey of stone...

your words are always such a beautiful reflection of your heart~~~ lovely writing, Lauren

M

vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2007-07-15 10:55 AM


nice read
JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2007-07-15 04:24 PM


Wonderful flow of thoughts and emotions...James
Tomer
Senior Member
since 2002-06-28
Posts 1168
Michigan
7 posted 2007-07-15 05:22 PM


I really enjoyed this.  It flows so eloquently, it just brings me back for more.  Great piece.

Tomer

Winter Butterfly
Member
since 2007-02-03
Posts 61
The hidden path beyond the ivy gate.
8 posted 2007-07-15 06:01 PM


Stunning in it's depth and beauty with a flowing rythm that takes my breath.

~Winter~

"I used to worry what people thought of me, then I broke through my cacoon"

wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
9 posted 2007-07-15 09:58 PM


beautifully sad


wordwizard
Member
since 2003-09-08
Posts 483
on the way to next world
10 posted 2007-07-15 09:59 PM


beautifully sad


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2007-07-15 11:13 PM


It's been a long, long time since I last
eyed your words....

and they are as magical as always...and
as spellbinding in form, and format...

well done, m'friend...

it's wonderful to have you home again.




Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
12 posted 2007-07-16 10:43 AM


Lauren ~ you're back!!! ~ and with another one of your poetic lovelies!

I whisper your poems ~ for they speak to me.

Your quill is as graceful as ever!

Giving you a big, warm, welcome-back hug,

Linda

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
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In Your Poetic Mind
13 posted 2007-07-16 12:04 PM


thank you all for the heartfelt replies, and the welcome back....I appreciate you all taking time to read...




~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
14 posted 2007-07-16 03:16 PM


Dear Lauren...you are as always, word lovely...a reflection of your heart, I'm sure.  
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
15 posted 2007-07-16 09:59 PM


There is wonderful imagery in this fine ‘write’…such as:

“as if I were the souls edge
where sea and tide rise --
where moon greets shifting stars(!)”

and:

“I am as empty

as the rose
that tries to touch the rivers bend”

I am particularly fond of:

“between echo and dreams
lies the farewell”

and:

“while I drift on some winter storm
awaiting each crystal
to form her beauty”

very serious, long-sustained applause!!

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
16 posted 2007-07-17 12:15 PM


Martie...thank you for stopping by I appreciate your comment....

~~


Secondhanddreampoet....

I'm thrilled you enjoyed this....thanks so much for stopping by....

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

17 posted 2007-07-18 08:16 PM


your words, your heart..

your beauty lady L~

welcome home dear sis of

As always m'friend, you move me.



No more hangin' on to the past
No more filling up my tomorrows
With yesterday's sorrows
No more lookin' over my shoulder {T.Tritt}

aujussy wolf
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Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
18 posted 2007-07-20 03:33 AM


i missed reading your words greeneyes
it is very much the season of air ... details later lol -J

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2007-07-20 09:19 AM


Hey Donna...

too, have missed being here...and reading...(life LOL) hugsss you

~~

James~

good to see you too my friend....has been awhile...will await your email...




~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
20 posted 2007-07-20 11:37 AM


So much to ponder here. Always the images that bring fresh thoughts to concepts needing clarification. You do that well. Peace.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane,
I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
21 posted 2007-07-20 12:08 PM


There is a style here that has always been owned by you...others may imitate (it's flattery that they do) but none get it just as you do...

and I missed it.

Hi Lauren!

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
22 posted 2007-07-20 06:17 PM


Larry~

nice to see you hanging around for awhile...

~~

Susan~

Hi yourself....have missed being here....and appreciate your words....hugsss to you...

~~

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
23 posted 2007-07-21 12:51 PM


well .....

  dust me off and place me back over
      the mantle ....... where we belong


   ME xx

Midnitesun
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since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
24 posted 2007-07-21 01:23 PM


"as if I were the souls edge"
That edge is where poets live.
Well done, Lauren.

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

25 posted 2007-08-03 04:35 PM


I do love the way you weave....
beautiful ma'am... indeed....

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
26 posted 2007-08-04 06:47 PM


I just had to do another 'post' on this 'write'
[something I VERY seldom do]

a poetic 'standing ovation' for this one!

bel1e
Senior Member
since 2006-07-24
Posts 1631

27 posted 2007-08-04 07:24 PM


heady~

loved it~

  

Robert Jordan
Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392
Philadelphia Pa USA
28 posted 2007-08-04 09:47 PM


Greeneyes,

I'd try this in plain black text, and with a larger font.  It could also stand some Standard English Language capitalization and punctuation.

I found it difficult to read.

Bobby

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
29 posted 2007-08-05 06:33 AM


Poignant and powerful writing as always lady. Welcome back.

a good commitee can decimate communication.

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
30 posted 2007-08-05 07:50 PM


Thanks to all for stopping in, I appreciate the comments....

~~**~~
Robert Jordon--

we all have a different style of writing...'larger' doesnt work for me....but I appreciate your comments... thank-you

~~**~~
Life is a balance
of holding on and letting go (KU)

ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
31 posted 2007-08-05 09:04 PM


A unique, very soft but deep way of writing.....I enjoyed the read very much...
The emotional collage is an experience of one's own feelings through anothers.

Nice!

Eric

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

32 posted 2007-08-27 01:39 AM


GreenEyes, I am so happy I found this gem of a read
*~coco~*

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