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Open Poetry #40
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MindBodySoul
Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 196
NJ

0 posted 2007-07-12 09:30 PM



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An empty void
A darkness I only understand
Alone withstanding the test of time
Feeling tired all of a sudden
Of trying and trying
And not being enough
Does it take a sacrifice of blood
To gain trust….
Time means nothing
If all you have accomplished is doubt
So sad my heart,but I will overcome
It is the only way, awakening a strength
Beyond the understanding of the human mind



Jen--->MindBodySoul

© Copyright 2007 Jeannette Urrego - All Rights Reserved
Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 2005-11-12
Posts 643

1 posted 2007-07-12 09:37 PM


This is very moving...


secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
2 posted 2007-07-12 10:41 PM


a fine ‘write’!

two ‘tiny points’: line # 2:   why not: ‘only I ’?
and/or: line # 4:  why not:  ‘Feeling suddenly tired’?
[grammatically and stylistically for concise and
max. ‘punch’ (impact)]

I always REALLY look forward to hearing this ‘poetic voice’!

once again, I was NOT ‘disappointed’ here!

applause!!

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
3 posted 2007-07-14 12:00 PM


a beauty and kind of sad.

have a wonderful day. dear lady

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
4 posted 2007-11-05 03:58 PM


Sad, but i enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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