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Passions in Poetry

An Empty Void

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MindBodySoul
Member
since 01-10-2007
Posts 194
NJ


0 posted 07-12-2007 09:30 PM       View Profile for MindBodySoul   Email MindBodySoul   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for MindBodySoul


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An empty void
A darkness I only understand
Alone withstanding the test of time
Feeling tired all of a sudden
Of trying and trying
And not being enough
Does it take a sacrifice of blood
To gain trust….
Time means nothing
If all you have accomplished is doubt
So sad my heart,but I will overcome
It is the only way, awakening a strength
Beyond the understanding of the human mind



Jen--->MindBodySoul
© Copyright 2007 Jeannette Urrego - All Rights Reserved
Dominique-Simone
Senior Member
since 11-12-2005
Posts 630


1 posted 07-12-2007 09:37 PM       View Profile for Dominique-Simone   Email Dominique-Simone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dominique-Simone

This is very moving...

secondhanddreampoet
Member Elite
since 11-07-2006
Posts 4763
a 'Universalist' !


2 posted 07-12-2007 10:41 PM       View Profile for secondhanddreampoet   Email secondhanddreampoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for secondhanddreampoet

a fine ‘write’!

two ‘tiny points’: line # 2:   why not: ‘only I ’?
and/or: line # 4:  why not:  ‘Feeling suddenly tired’?
[grammatically and stylistically for concise and
max. ‘punch’ (impact)]

I always REALLY look forward to hearing this ‘poetic voice’!

once again, I was NOT ‘disappointed’ here!

applause!!
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 03-16-2007
Posts 2907
Los Angeles California


3 posted 07-14-2007 12:00 PM       View Profile for Drauntz   Email Drauntz   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Drauntz

a beauty and kind of sad.

have a wonderful day. dear lady
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


4 posted 11-05-2007 03:58 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

Sad, but i enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND
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