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Open Poetry #40
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2007-07-10 07:26 AM


I like the way
my hair curls round
my wrist
as though it were

some friendly

wish
clasping nearly wet
as I
like it
as I am the eye.

I am it:

I do submit:

curling in a curlicue
like a fish dead on one side
staring at you
staring blue
circles
trombone like it is
dead on one side
like a fish

frozen

grommets
like the truth
of sun
of sonnets
as if they
were done
in iambic pentameter:
wishing whining more of her

damned and distillationed wings
spattering the dancing sun
in a disk played on the park

whirling girly-gish-ma-h'yon--

dervished damned solidity
as if the war was done and won

to the best absurd.



© Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
1 posted 2007-07-10 01:18 PM


I have to say that this is a marvelous piece.
no matter what you mean, it is a true poem. I read several times.

I will come back to read it again.

enjoyed very much

have a wonderful day, dear Lady SB

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2007-07-10 03:06 PM


a wish and a dead fish...



probably the story of my life...

loved it Karen.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
3 posted 2007-07-11 06:21 PM


I loved reading this out loud.  Again and again.


A

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2007-07-11 06:29 PM


Thanks to the three of you, I really didn't expect too much of this one, as it was written for a friend who doesn't even read here.

But thanks aziza, as it was meant to be read out loud.

I like to play with words and sound a lot.



Love to all.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2007-07-11 06:55 PM


there is as always a mystery behind the visions you present...and I love the challenge of them....their beauty and the feelings you give the reader....

awesome writing lady poetess

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
6 posted 2007-07-12 08:06 PM




Karen
I read everything you write
with a green eye

my eye is green again
I love the way you play
with words and sounds

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2007-07-12 09:14 PM


very cool piece


divine chaos
Senior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon
8 posted 2007-07-14 08:23 AM


I love the way you play with words,
when I read you, I can see them
dancing 'round me

~sheli

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2007-07-15 04:03 AM


I could tell you were playing with words and sound here; you do that so well...liked the rhythm here, too.  I think you experiment worked because I felt a little dizzy at the end...not kidding.  (Of course, it's late and I'm pretty easy to spin around at 3 am in the morning *grins*.)  I wish that darn war was over, too.  *hugs*.....jojo
Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
10 posted 2007-11-05 04:04 PM


funky title
lol

ARCTIC WIND

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
11 posted 2010-04-24 03:03 PM


Once more around.
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