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Open Poetry #40

Principles of Success

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2007-07-07 04:56 PM

Principles of Success

Everybody needs to
break up occasionally,
so they can more cleary see
the stumbling blocks
keeping them from success.

Everybody needs to look
inside the heart
preferably when apart
while dwelling in
the valley of loneliness.

Then again, if you're sincere
about getting along, and your
relationship is strong,
you already practice
the principles
of success.

JamesLee
07July
2007

[This message has been edited by JamesMichael (07-08-2007 12:35 AM).]

paullallady
Member

since 2007-04-03

Posts 262
Michigan

1 posted 2007-07-07 08:00 PM

a unique writing about the benefits of breaking up. the poem itself has a sad feeling. I liked this. good.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

2 posted 2007-07-07 08:51 PM

Sir, the first two S are super. the third and the ending you may write it much better or at least delete "kindly ignore my statements
of silliness."......my opinion

very good sir.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2007-07-08 12:47 PM

Thank you paullallady and Drauntz for the kind responses...
There you go Drauntz I have taken your suggestion and changed it as you wish...
Incidentally, I am not advocating that anyone consider breaking up...I am just suggesting that some of us set our selves up for failure when we become too involved before determining the sincerity of the other person...we stay with them for the things we like about them, knowing that some important parts of a relationship are lacking, for example one is sincere and the other is not...one is truthful and forthcoming and the other is lying or deceitful...the end result is inevitable. However, when both are sincere, the hope for a successful relationship are dramatically increased...James

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

4 posted 2007-07-08 07:19 PM

Dear Sir, thank you for the explanation.
you are so very kind.

Breaking up can be like stepping back a little so one may have a clearer view of other. It is very smart poem. and a life lesson too.

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