I Shall Prevail - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

0 posted 2007-06-26 08:13 PM

I feel like
the shadow of my shadow,
yet to be noticed in the light.
I reflect darkness,
the night
is my comfort, my twin,
my insecurity, my sin
it disguises,
when I'm in the security
of sin.

When I walk or talk
my I eyes feel the need
to admire my shoes so dearly.
And clearly,
my head is foggy with thoughts
that scare me--
if they were a reality.

I don't like the feeling of being
a scentless flower
for it will lead to the blooming of
bitter fruit
that feeds my pain in abundance
until my heart
can not stomach this agony any longer.

When life hands me lemons
I show the soars on my tongue
from sucking on aloes,
so that when I am led to the gallows,
the last breath I take might be tasteful
aside from the empty air I breathe that
stifles my lungs hollow.

Do not underestimate me,
for when we square off
the pointy edges
can not be rounded off
to a positive outcome.

I am still taken advantage of,
which should be a thing of the past
but it is presented
to me as the blueprint for my future.
I refuse to let those sour limestones
be the building blocks of my adulthood.
I'm tired,
and those same walls that trapped me in
a bashful alley will make me
the cornerstone.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2007-06-26 08:21 PM

welcome to Passions!

I liked this first post and will be looking for more of your work

jayjara
Member

since 2007-05-02

Posts 90
Florida

2 posted 2007-06-26 08:37 PM

Damn

3rd stanza and last few lines left an impact. Very dark. Would like to see more of your poetry.

I have no critique (congrats.)

-J

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2007-06-26 08:40 PM

"Do not underestimate me,
for when we square off
the pointy edges
can not be rounded off
to a positive outcome."

oh yeah...love this part for sure...
Welcome to Pip

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

4 posted 2007-06-26 08:42 PM

Thanks guys. I'm glad that you liked the poem.

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant

since 2000-01-29

Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia

5 posted 2007-06-26 10:36 PM

Welcome to Passions... this is a very good first post - enjoyed!

RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-03

Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart

6 posted 2007-06-26 11:32 PM

May I say, welcome to passions as well,
Mr. Gifted, now that you have my attention, what are you going to do with it?
I must say your first post was something to be admired.

~ARH

J. M. Barrie, the playwright, may have said it best when he wrote, “God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December.”

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

7 posted 2007-06-26 11:40 PM

Well ARH, the most I can do is try to keep your attention... unless you'd like me to do more.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

adagio
Member

since 2005-03-19

Posts 449
Marrero, La.

8 posted 2007-06-27 03:59 PM

Onward through the fog
no matter how heavy your boots get
or of you san see in front of you
adagio,, real good luck in the future!

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

9 posted 2007-06-27 05:54 PM

Thanks Adagio.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2007-06-27 05:57 PM

When I walk or talk
my I eyes feel the need
to admire my shoes so dearly.

~*~

Layers and layers of meaningful
thought within these lines, Jonathan.

Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email
for a Very Special Greeting!

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

11 posted 2007-06-27 06:22 PM

Thanks a lot Sunshine. I really put a lot of myself into this poem.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

12 posted 2007-06-29 10:03 AM

Hello, Gifted One! Welcome to our family of poetic kindred spirits!

It is almost a shame for me to quote only a ffew lines from your poem because there are many quotable ones. However, the following ones do stand out for me:

"I don't like the feeling of being
a scentless flower
for it will lead to the blooming of
bitter fruit"

Enjoyed your first post of many, hopefully, yet to come!

Giving you a warm, welcoming hug,

Earth Angel

Mysteria

Member Laureate

since 2001-03-07

Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada

13 posted 2007-06-29 12:19 PM

What a wonderful first poem my new friend

I think we have all at one time or another found the need to watch the ground, it's part of life. I love your style of writing, and will be reading more I hope.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

14 posted 2007-06-29 12:44 PM

wonderful and deep thinking. a very good poem.

enjoyed

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

15 posted 2007-06-29 01:47 PM

Thank you Earth Angel(that hug really warmed me inside), Mysteria, and Drauntz. I'm so glad that you like my poetry and style of writing. Don't worry you will definitely see more of me.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

The Lady
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-12-26

Posts 7634
The Southwest

16 posted 2007-07-01 01:10 PM

had to read it 4 times to pick my fave
and I'm still not sure

"I don't like the feeling of being
a scentless flower
for it will lead to the blooming of
bitter fruit"

great work Gifted

welcome!

bslicker

Member Elite

since 2000-12-04

Posts 2321
state of mind

17 posted 2007-07-01 01:25 PM

WELCOME
enjoyed
bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Gifted
Member

since 2007-06-26

Posts 140
Caribbean

18 posted 2007-07-01 10:08 PM

Thanks The Lady and Bslicker.

Peace. Love. Forgiveness.
Blessings and Guidance

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.