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Open Poetry #40
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aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

0 posted 2007-06-01 03:30 AM


Love Among the Ruins

    

Maybe you see a story
With no beginning
Empty rooms echo
Whispers haunt lost memories
Gouged eyes mournful
No tears left to cry
Cloud-covered questions
Unanswered
History lost to the winds

Maybe you are blind
To the rainbow of stories
Airing in the breeze
Deaf to a melody
Of children's off-key laughter
Floating in the eaves
Dreams nestled in old logs
Hanging in suspension
Unattended
Family sentinel waiting


Love among the ruins.


----

Alison


© Copyright 2007 Alison - All Rights Reserved
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
1 posted 2007-06-01 09:58 AM


Oh, I like that.  The picture is the perfect complement to the poem, and I can hear the off-key laughter.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-06-01 11:10 AM


Nan

Thank you.

Alison

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2007-06-01 04:21 PM


awesome job with this--sometimes I find pictures distracting, I confess, but this one just enhances your work.

Loved it Alison.

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
4 posted 2007-06-01 06:01 PM



Good Alison
A woman's poem
I could never write it . . .

John

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
5 posted 2007-06-01 10:40 PM


grand-fine emotive ‘write’!...

[wonderful photo.-image also]

I LOVE lines and imagery such as:

“Whispers haunt lost memories”;

“the rainbow of stories
Airing in the breeze...”

“Love among the ruins.”

and (to me) particularly wonderful is:

“Cloud-covered questions
Unanswered
History lost to the winds...”

AND:

“children's ... laughter
Floating in the eaves
Dreams nestled in old logs
Hanging in suspension
Unattended”

VERY serious and long-sustained applause!!

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
6 posted 2007-06-01 10:53 PM


Thank you all.
I grew up in that house.

A

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2007-06-02 11:44 AM


well done!
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
8 posted 2007-06-02 12:14 PM


well done,  challenge well met.  I am
straining to meet and match ya...

paullallady
Member
since 2007-04-03
Posts 262
Michigan
9 posted 2007-06-02 01:31 PM


beautiful and tender yet sad.
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
10 posted 2007-06-03 09:45 PM



ah so lovely Alison


"Deaf to a melody
Of children's off-key laughter
Floating in the eaves"

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
11 posted 2007-06-03 10:37 PM


Thank you all
for reading and sharing
your thoughts.

Alison

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
12 posted 2007-06-04 02:01 AM


a beauty.
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
13 posted 2007-06-04 04:03 AM


Thank you, Drauntz
-- I liked yours too --

Alison

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2007-06-04 08:53 AM


Alison, what a wonderful way to capture the essence of the challenge! I could almost hear the whispers and giggles in those shaky rafters, feel the energy that once filled the rooms of an abandoned home from some family's distant past.
WOW! I just read your comment above, that you grew up in that house! This makes the write all the more powerful, as it is an intimate portrait. I especially liked the children's "off-key laughter" image.

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
15 posted 2007-06-04 09:52 AM


Thank you, MidniteSun.  It was a postscript that I almost did not share.  I am thrilled that you liked this poem -- it has a lot of 'me' in it.  You seem like a kindred spirit ~ must be the AK connection.

A

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
16 posted 2007-06-04 09:56 AM


Lovely write, Alison.  Much enjoyed!
aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
17 posted 2007-06-04 09:59 AM


Thank you, honeybunch.

Alison

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