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Open Poetry #40
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scarletbegonias
Member
since 2007-05-15
Posts 59


0 posted 2007-05-16 12:07 PM


acknowledging me
then you looked over my head
she is easier to see

© Copyright 2007 scarlet begonias - All Rights Reserved
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
1 posted 2007-05-16 12:19 PM


how many counts in your last verse? No matter what, it is a beautiful little poem. many stories come out it.

enjoyed

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-05-16 12:43 PM


Very heart heard
from mine to yours
So lovely, darling friend.

Alison

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
3 posted 2007-05-16 12:52 PM


A cup of coffee
A piece of chocolate
Taste the P I P

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
4 posted 2007-05-16 01:36 AM


He rises up at night
Takes moon to polish his sight
His poem is more bright

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
5 posted 2007-05-16 02:03 AM


URVIP  
%$*
2711

You are VIP
Hundred percent dollar star
to Seven-Eleven

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
6 posted 2007-05-16 02:23 AM


Blue hat of the sun
On the shadow of gray whale
I let the kite go

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
7 posted 2007-05-16 02:42 AM


longly sleeping swan
Full wing stretched setting sun
thirsty fawn drinks stars

scarletbegonias
Member
since 2007-05-15
Posts 59

8 posted 2007-05-16 08:50 AM


thank you i love reading haikus... i'll keep better count next time lol
hugs and kisses,
scarlet b.

scarletbegonias
Member
since 2007-05-15
Posts 59

9 posted 2007-05-17 10:04 AM


i fixed my haiku
forgot about you i tried
not easy is it

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
10 posted 2007-05-17 12:39 PM


Cheerful bird singing
to the train of spring dream, hooting
extra sound annoying


hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
11 posted 2007-05-17 01:58 PM


scarlet...actually a haiku deals with nature so that makes this a senryu ...which deals with human nature, humor and/or political issues ( I know, confusing isn't it) ...regardless, in both the syllable counts are 5/7/5 , 3/5/3 or, in the foreign adaptation, 3 lines consisting of 17 or less syllables
Enough of poetry 101 loved the tone of this
Ruth

scarletbegonias
Member
since 2007-05-15
Posts 59

12 posted 2007-05-17 10:55 PM


wow Ruth thank you for that... i am saving that in a notepad on my desktop for when i write... lol and tonight i'll be counting off syllables as i go to sleep.
thank you hun<3 have a good night xooxoo

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2007-05-19 07:39 PM


Enjoyed...James
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #40 » and there you were one of those haikus

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