and there you were one of those haikus

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scarletbegonias
Member

since 2007-05-15

Posts 59

0 posted 2007-05-16 12:07 PM

acknowledging me
then you looked over my head
she is easier to see

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

1 posted 2007-05-16 12:19 PM

how many counts in your last verse? No matter what, it is a beautiful little poem. many stories come out it.

enjoyed

aziza
Member Elite

since 2006-07-09

Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

2 posted 2007-05-16 12:43 PM

Very heart heard
from mine to yours
So lovely, darling friend.

Alison

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

3 posted 2007-05-16 12:52 PM

A cup of coffee
A piece of chocolate
Taste the P I P

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

4 posted 2007-05-16 01:36 AM

He rises up at night
Takes moon to polish his sight
His poem is more bright

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

5 posted 2007-05-16 02:03 AM

URVIP
%$*
2711

You are VIP
Hundred percent dollar star
to Seven-Eleven

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

6 posted 2007-05-16 02:23 AM

Blue hat of the sun
On the shadow of gray whale
I let the kite go

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

7 posted 2007-05-16 02:42 AM

longly sleeping swan
Full wing stretched setting sun
thirsty fawn drinks stars

scarletbegonias
Member

since 2007-05-15

Posts 59

8 posted 2007-05-16 08:50 AM

thank you

i love reading haikus... i'll keep better count next time lol
hugs and kisses,
scarlet b.

scarletbegonias
Member

since 2007-05-15

Posts 59

9 posted 2007-05-17 10:04 AM

i fixed my haiku
forgot about you i tried
not easy is it

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

10 posted 2007-05-17 12:39 PM

Cheerful bird singing
to the train of spring dream, hooting
extra sound annoying

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius

since 1999-07-05

Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA

11 posted 2007-05-17 01:58 PM

scarlet...actually a haiku deals with nature so that makes this a senryu ...which deals with human nature, humor and/or political issues ( I know, confusing isn't it) ...regardless, in both the syllable counts are 5/7/5 , 3/5/3 or, in the foreign adaptation, 3 lines consisting of 17 or less syllables

Enough of poetry 101

loved the tone of this

Ruth

scarletbegonias
Member

since 2007-05-15

Posts 59

12 posted 2007-05-17 10:55 PM

wow Ruth thank you for that... i am saving that in a notepad on my desktop for when i write... lol and tonight i'll be counting off syllables as i go to sleep.
thank you hun<3 have a good night xooxoo

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

13 posted 2007-05-19 07:39 PM

Enjoyed...James

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