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Open Poetry #40
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Drauntz
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since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

0 posted 2007-05-13 01:44 AM




Chilly wind crying
With the lost dream of poplar
Fist pounded on door

Storm whirled me out
Shivering to winter's moon
blinding me from shout

A familiar voice
In begging for a blankie
aired her dignity

Mother, the greatest being

© Copyright 2007 Drauntz - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2007-05-13 03:07 PM


Bao~
My friend ... I feel the real of this ... the beauty~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

Margherita
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since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2007-05-13 04:29 PM


A "Mother's begging" tugs at our hearts and your very deep and powerful poem conveys this message with impressive intensity.

Love,
Margherita


Drauntz
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since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
3 posted 2007-05-13 05:07 PM


true story of my childhood. when I was 8. My father was suspected as spy (he is not)so one night they came to take him.  children in BJ were taken outside when the apartment was thoroughly searched and they dig a hole on the wall for looking for transmitter. My mother begged them for balnkets for us. It was November.
Midnitesun
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Gaia
4 posted 2007-05-13 05:13 PM


what a beautiful memory, of a mother's nurturing love
aziza
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since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
5 posted 2007-05-13 05:22 PM


Well done
Thank you for sharing
the power of your poem
and the story behind it.

A

paullallady
Member
since 2007-04-03
Posts 262
Michigan
6 posted 2007-05-13 07:24 PM


this was wonderful, tugging at our heartstrings.
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2007-05-14 12:55 PM


Bao~
-ing this one for other's to read~
Your explanation is a beautiful story in itself~

Lovely, my friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

SEA
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Moderator
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since 2000-01-18
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with you
8 posted 2007-05-14 01:06 PM


completely touches the heart....
Startime55
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since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
9 posted 2007-05-14 01:20 PM


This stunningly powerful poem tears at the heart strings...A must read for all...I hope you don't mind but I am taking a copy of it to share with the ladies I get together with once a month for lunch...today is our day and this poem will be the topic...Thank you for sharing it with us...*Big Hugs*
Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2007-05-14 01:42 PM


This touched my heart..
even more so after you told the story.

Heart hugs to you dear one.

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
11 posted 2007-05-14 02:00 PM


Thank you all.
I, as it happened as life went on later, have never got comforted on this because my father was gone for next ten years and mother was worring about how she was going to raise three young children 5,8,11 then. She tried to committed suicide twice but gave up by thinking that my younger brother was too young to live without a mother (she told us when we were adults)
I wrote this poem for my mother on this mother’s day  But I never thought that this opened this never healed wound and I hope it will get healed by  your kind hearts who understand the feelings. I have never shared this with HB or other friends. I have never talked this with my parents because I thought that it was a moment that nobody wants to mention. Too much for an 8 years to hold though.  Now I am crying like a baby.
Thank you again for all of you. I love you all.

Trillium
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Member Patricius
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Idaho, USA
12 posted 2007-05-14 02:42 PM


Drauntz:  Thank you for opening your heart and memory to all of us, so we can share a little of what you went through as a child. What a wonderful mother you have! What a terrible thing for your family to go through!

Love
Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

Betty
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since 2002-08-13
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Virginia
13 posted 2007-05-14 04:05 PM


I think this is so pretty & heart felt.
MegMeg
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since 2007-05-14
Posts 85
Virginia
14 posted 2007-05-14 04:55 PM


i like it, short yet effective.
Flutterwings
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since 2001-07-10
Posts 288
Maine
15 posted 2007-05-14 05:25 PM


Your poem was very effective! It touched me deeply. I find that expression emotions through poetry is a great way to rid the feelings of our inner most wounds. We all have them and some are harder to heal  then others. Keep writing. Love and peace, Maggie ((~.~))


sandgrain
Member Elite
since 1999-09-21
Posts 3662
Sycamore, IL, USA
16 posted 2007-05-14 05:55 PM


I'm so glad Marge gave me a heads up so I wouldn't miss this. It's beautiful and I'm thankful you've shared your story with us.  How could one forget such trauma, especially being so young?  Your appreciation of your mother's caring is in itself so heartwarming.

   Rae

Earth Angel
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since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
17 posted 2007-05-14 06:38 PM


I am literally all choked up after reading this short but powerfully evocative piece of writing  ~ and your explanations.

Your tears fall on fertile ground, dear Poetess.

Loving, compassionate hug,

EA

PatAngel
Member
since 2004-04-05
Posts 451
California
18 posted 2007-05-15 12:59 PM


So beautiful! It touched my heart.Thank you for sharing.

Patricia

'When you find a dream within your heart, don't ever let it go.
For dreams are the tiny seeds from which tomorrow grows.'

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
19 posted 2007-05-15 06:30 AM


without the explanation I couldn't honestly respond not understanding the anguish you went through and the love of a "Mother's Begging". (thank you for the time you took and pain of remembering in sharing the details.


M

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2007-05-15 06:34 AM


This leaves spaces that allows the reader to become the heroine....

nicely done, Drauntz. (and fade to black, yes?)


LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

21 posted 2007-05-15 12:59 PM


I to have been touched by all that is here...

extremely profound!

Mysteria
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British Columbia, Canada
22 posted 2007-05-15 01:04 PM


Very poignant poem and story.  I have heard similar war stories from friends, and it saddens even the hardest heart.  Have you ever thought about writing it out from an 8-year old's perspective?  It could be a very informative story for others to read and try to understand, and very healing for you.
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
23 posted 2007-05-15 01:52 PM


Thank you all very much. I try to take this opportunity to get over the hurt

Dear Mysteria, thank you for your suggestion. To tell you the truth, I do not know what I was thinking then. I sat on the cold cement stairs, watching people going in and out and finally see my father who was held by two people on the arms faded into the dark. It was midnight and  I was led out when I was sleeping.  When my mother cried to beg for the blankets for us I almost said ‘ mom, I am not that cold.” I  do not remember that I felt anything. (scary and shocking went under sub-consciousness, I guess).  A week later, my mother told us “if your friends ask about your father, tell them that he goes work early and comes back late.” I lived in those words for two years.

Had been there other adults to comfort us, This might not be this painful...  I don’t know.

Again Thank you all with my heart.

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
24 posted 2007-05-15 05:11 PM


I love the blankie line, it's so childlike

a good commitee can decimate communication.

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
25 posted 2007-05-15 07:01 PM


Thank you for sharing this moment in time with us here. What images are captured in your words and the one that shouts the clearest for me is that of a mother's love for her children. My writing about these memories bring healing to your heart and soul.
Hugs
Ruth

I am nothing special...and my name will soon be forgotten,but I've loved another with all my heart and soul,and to me,this has always been enough.~N.S

dwgpoet
Member
since 2007-03-05
Posts 122
FL, USA
26 posted 2007-05-24 01:53 AM



In Great Haiku form
the Greatest nature picture:
Great, Human Nature:

an innocent child,
in between scheming kids pranks,
cries for Mom's blankie.

copyright dwgpoet 2007

paullallady
Member
since 2007-04-03
Posts 262
Michigan
27 posted 2007-05-24 08:28 PM


this is so sweet,,,,the idea of asking for the blankie, which equals security--wonderful.
Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
28 posted 2007-05-24 09:00 PM


Such things a mother and a family will do
to survive a system that deeply tries to
control them....

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
29 posted 2007-05-26 07:32 AM


Beautiful, Drauntz, written by a beautiful soul.  My tears flow for your pain, both then and now.  Please don't be shocked, or think that I don't understand, if I say that there are reasons why I envy you.

- Owl

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