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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2007-04-24 03:17 AM


Now I know just what I did
thank you love
you showed me this:

Apologies aside are naught
I dropped my bombs from flame and caught
innocents within my burn
it matters not the incidence
and there cannot be recompense--
not in this life
nor the next--
take it--I've a small, small head
to match my little neck.

[aside to executioner:]

"I forgive you, yes."

Blunt the lights
to dark and then

the strings
                commence
                       the toppling

fluid and meandering

      like a gypsy's wedding skirt:

                 proud with blood of speckling

[strike the gong just once]

and sing:

"Ave Ave"

chorus winged

in obligation to the plight:

on the wires, hovering
faces painted grimace white
with tears in black of rivering

mourning

"what was done was right."

The angels wept, the liars cried--

and so it was, the day I died--
all of this, the truth that I
wrote in blood drank by the sand:

They should have chopped my hands.

I say--they should have chopped my hands.



© Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
1 posted 2007-04-24 04:33 AM


No never lose your hands! You need those to type... Keep your head and spoof them off and you will come out ahead of the game...

It is just a game you know.... martyjo

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
2 posted 2007-04-24 02:39 PM


oh, take my soul. I can't endure the physical pain.

love to read something like this.

[This message has been edited by Drauntz (04-24-2007 07:53 PM).]

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2007-04-25 12:16 PM




yes
those last two lines!

amazing


LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2007-04-25 09:31 AM


this is some fantastic writing...calculated undercurrents that resound, personal betrayal, in the nature of life's lies and dissappointments...you always, always offer a series of human touch to the echoes within
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2007-04-26 05:55 PM


I appreciate you all reading my rather dark muse on the loss of my own head.



thank you

And um, the title?

Obviously, although there are some who would buy tickets to such a show, a literal beheading could only be a one time only deal.

But I am living proof that it is entirely possible to lose one's mind, over and over and over...

The Grecian bit was "a nod" to the Greek Philosophers.

Allysa
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden
6 posted 2007-04-27 01:23 AM


Love this.
OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
7 posted 2007-04-29 01:39 AM


The wonder of losing one's head over and over and over is that it is living proof that one can regain one's head over and over and over - even when it seems impossible.  

I love the poem and its brilliance and its play format and its honesty and its taking responsibility and its contrition written in blood.  However, with regard to the wonderful and shiver-sensitive lines of:

I dropped my bombs from flame and caught
innocents within my burn
it matters not the incidence
and there cannot be recompense--
not in this life
nor the next--

- I don't agree about there not being recompense.  There is always possibility of that, though not necessarily of the expected kind.

- nor do I agree with

"what was done (the execution) was right".  What would we all do without Serenity Blaze or Karen or the fusion of the two?

And, thank goodness they didn't chop your hands!  And, no, they shouldn't have.

Some people would say, "Sorry".  Karen writes "The One Act Grecian Traveling Show"! Wow!

- Owl


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
8 posted 2007-04-29 09:41 AM


even when metaphorical, you walk us through the picture and let us touch and feel the texture of your words...

awesome.

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
9 posted 2007-04-29 09:52 AM


Read it twice, loved it both times...

Question?  Does a head bounce when it falls??
That part's always hidden in the movies...

Sorry if that question seems belittling to this wonderful write. . . but I've always wondered.

jimmy

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2007-04-29 06:43 PM


Jimmy's response and question made me laugh~~

darn you write so serious most days (even if you don't think this so)

I smiled  because I understand...and am glad you have your hands AND head to entertain us


M

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
11 posted 2007-04-29 11:14 PM








If I could express one word so that Mighty Muse would be world renowned...I imagine it would be:

Submit.

[In all the best of the only way...]

Yes, I love you, too.


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