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Open Poetry #40
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Four roses
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Four roses |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa 
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Three roses there were; mind, body, and soul and the other one waiting to be but the heart doesn’t wait to receive before the giving for free and so there were four red roses in all. Gone are the days of poetic dreams but proof can be found in the heart beating and pumping one, two, three … four, one, two, three … four, because always that little bit extra comes to be when the heart’s in play. Any less would be a sheer falsity any more sends it over the line right into the arms of fantasy always waiting to have the last laugh. And when it is time to receive and be a lover again for real one, two, three … four red roses in all makes of a dream a certainty simply just waiting to be! Helen / 23 April 2007 |
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| © Copyright 2007 Helen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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sweetpoetess Member
since 2005-02-27
Posts 428Florida |
This is so beautiful. I enjoyed the read too. Never had anybody give me roses. Awesome poem!!!! Poetry is beauty in words. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Helen~ There is such a gentle beauty to this piece~  I, too, shall count the roses~  *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Robert Jordan Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392Philadelphia Pa USA |
Honeybunch, When using an ellipsis, don't leave spaces on either side. In addition, in the line: "one, two, three … four," why is an ellipsis used at all. Bobby |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Helen, 'tis true about roses . . . and I use elipses all the time, too . . . lol. I think they have earned their way into a form of poetic expression which is anything but technically correct sometimes. I took the elipses to as a pause/contemplation. Never really thought of mind/body/soul like roses before, only the heart, but I like the thought of all four. Lovely poem, dear friend. *hugs* . . . . jo |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
beautiful. pray the fourth rose with mixed color of the three. enjoyed. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Thank you all so much for your comments and, yes, Jo, you are right. Everyone says 1,2,3, but stop to think and then go the extra mile. I wanted the reader to know that four doesn't just automatically follow. The sentence hung for a bit. Not sure how else I could have indicated that. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Honeybunch, I so enjoyed this because... (had to do that) My neighbor who is losing her short term memory had four rose buds in her old garden just anxious to bloom. So every morning I'd stop and ask if she would like to walk around the yard. Each morning we examined the rose buds. One morning the first one was in full bloom and yesterday the first was gone and the other three were all in full bloom. I love to watch her expression and watch her enjoy.... I am thinking she needs a few more rose bushes. loved your poem. martyjo |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
 Thanks martyjo! I'm sure the first rose bush will bloom again and take over after the other blooms have gone. Nature always supplies - one just has to look for it. What a kind thing you are doing for your neighbour. There are some good people in the world and there will always be "roses" for them somewhere along the line. |
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