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Open Poetry #40
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artyjames
New Member
since 2007-04-23
Posts 3


0 posted 2007-04-23 01:57 PM


seems like love is something we have no time for
but we have time for TV
time for our crushed velvet vices
that hug our body so comfortably that...
we dont even want to let its grasp EVER lose us

so we hold tight
but in the process we remain shunned to the rest
hung by our belt
not in suicidal tones but simply our pants from falling
to keep us up

I've seen freeways packed with lost souls inside
beautifully busy
I give it all to the divine

© Copyright 2007 artyjames - All Rights Reserved
RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

1 posted 2007-04-23 02:12 PM


Well done. Indeed! Bob
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2007-04-23 02:15 PM


A lot of truth in your words.  Welcome to PIP!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2007-04-23 04:17 PM



Well, now, there's a roller-coaster of
thought to ponder!

Welcome to Passions!

Please, check your email for a Very
Special Greeting!


Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
4 posted 2007-04-23 04:24 PM


Welcome

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
5 posted 2007-04-23 07:58 PM


I love this one.

how true!

Robert Jordan
Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392
Philadelphia Pa USA
6 posted 2007-04-23 09:30 PM


James,

Learn to use contractions.  "dont" is not a word in the English Language.  Perhaps you mean, "don't", which is a contraction for "do not".

You might also work on capitalization and punctuation.

Nice idea though.

Bobby

INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
7 posted 2007-04-25 12:07 PM


I enjoyed your opening...No time for the important but time for TV etc.  Welcome to Passions!
INclan

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2007-04-25 11:03 AM


"I've seen freeways packed with lost souls inside
beautifully busy"

A sad but true commentary on the state of so many lives. Welcome to Pips.

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
9 posted 2007-04-25 11:18 AM


BRAVO!!! What an introduction..."time for our crushed velvet vices"...How true it is...If some of the time we spend on TV was given to showing someone we love that they are loved there would be many more happier people in the world...I love this poem...Very well done...*Big Hugs*
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2007-04-25 01:49 PM


I've seen freeways packed with lost souls inside
beautifully busy
I give it all to the divine


wise words with a potentially spiritual insight that is there for all of man

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2007-04-25 04:54 PM


Nice writing...James
TerryW
Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
12 posted 2007-04-25 05:39 PM


Very Beautiful and very Thoughtful!

Welcome to Passions!

I will be looking for more from you ...

~Terry

~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

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