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Open Poetry #40
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-04-15 03:58 PM


.


It’s strange to find you here
Now on the beach given how much
You dislike the water

How loud your rancor
Claiming this part of the world
Again under rules
That no one else but you
Would know

Your friend sits on the sand
Seemingly stunned by your words
This is not exactly in a date
What he bargained for

How good the waves feel
Washing against my knees
With all their freedom
And striding masculinity
So much like a man being alive

I leave the land with you behind
Though I still can hear you call my name
And in a different silence akin to joy
Swim out to sea


.

© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2007-04-15 07:24 PM


Can't help it...

I like the way
your pictures come alive.


Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
2 posted 2007-04-15 11:40 PM


John, your poems always have a special rhythm which is the ecoh of one's heart beat.

This poem... there are three people in your poem. One is "You"/Anna. One is "her friend"/"He", then there is "I".

"I" am laughing at the brainless "he"
but why does "she" called out the name of "I" while "I" totally ignored "her" and swim off to sea?

Are they tri-sillies?

It is a beautiful poem and I enjoy as always.

[This message has been edited by Drauntz (04-16-2007 12:57 AM).]

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
3 posted 2007-04-16 01:34 AM


i like
this softer
side of you

Andrew Sewell
Junior Member
since 2007-04-16
Posts 24
County Durham, England
4 posted 2007-04-16 11:40 AM


A wonderful read Huan Yi, the imagery really came to life as I read on. Thanks for sharing.

Andrew

"Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterwards." - R.A. Heinlein.

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
5 posted 2007-04-22 08:08 PM


John I love your poetry

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
6 posted 2007-04-23 12:45 PM




Juju,

Always glad to hear that

Thank you

John

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
7 posted 2007-04-23 06:17 AM


This fit my mood this weekend~~

enjoyed,

M

Rottiestyl
Member
since 2007-04-19
Posts 60
Illinois, USA
8 posted 2007-04-23 06:41 AM


Great piece, smooth and airy.
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