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Open Poetry #40
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secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

0 posted 2007-04-13 08:37 PM


              Jasmine Winds and
             ‘Deep-Time’ Echoes

          Why must I demand
          all things great and true
          even in this barren place,
          this lost and lonely space
          where only strange, sad
          silhouettes dance
          to songs of dreams reproved,
          and crimson passions (failed
          by the fleeting fragrance
          of a jasmine wind) are swept
          beyond the night’s last shadows,
          when the staggering silence
              settles down
          upon a weary world
          prepared to ‘crack’
          (and call again) at dawn,
          in ‘Deep-Time’ echoes
          of long-forgotten loves!

[This message has been edited by secondhanddreampoet (04-14-2007 06:16 PM).]

© Copyright 2007 Bruce E. Adams Jr. - All Rights Reserved
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
1 posted 2007-04-13 09:23 PM


read several times... it did not make me happy. I wish I would not dream a dream like it tonight.

a wonderful poetic poem.
enjoyed



ArtSolstice
Member
since 2007-03-18
Posts 498

2 posted 2007-04-14 08:22 AM


An aching, searching, yearning write in a changing world, when one always, ultimately returns to the certainty of silence, night, and dawn. Well done!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2007-04-14 09:06 AM


"Jasmine Winds..." At first I thought that my scent had drifted all the way to Pennsylvania! I am wearing genuine jasmine essential oil this morning. I love the fragrance.

Regarding your emotive and masterfully scribed poem, I would like to 'Echo' the response by ArtSolstice. He was spot on, in my opinion.

May the sweetness of spring, lift your spirits.

Linda

Robert Jordan
Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392
Philadelphia Pa USA
4 posted 2007-04-14 03:08 PM


Secondhanddreampoet,

The thought is there in this poem.  I'd recommend breaking it up into sentences.  That would make it more concise and understandable.

Bobby

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2007-04-14 06:21 PM


Enjoyed...James
The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
6 posted 2007-04-14 10:03 PM




you know poet
your work moves me so
I want to keep it for my own

maybe... write it on my wall

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-11-07
Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa
7 posted 2007-04-15 10:35 AM


Beautiful, just as it is.  Thank you for the journey.

- Owl

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
8 posted 2007-04-15 11:08 AM


Jasmine grows outside my bedroom window...sometimes it asks questions, but usually it gives answers.  Why all things great and true...because that is what in the end is inside of you.
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
9 posted 2007-04-15 12:34 PM


In a timeless reverie, I sit silently sighing scents of jasmine.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2007-04-15 01:24 PM


... and of those loves yet to come!


True poetical heights in this one!


Love,
Margherita

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
11 posted 2007-04-15 02:46 PM


Ah~
I have such a strong desire for the fragrance of jasmine ... and then you gift~

'long forgotten loves' ... ah ... they are never really forgotten ... are they ?
No, I didn't think so~

Thank you so much for being a poet~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
12 posted 2007-04-15 02:57 PM


"Why must I demand
          all things great and true"

because if you don't you won't get but then again, maybe what we want isn't what is best for us.  That aside, a truly moving piece.  "Deep Time" - yes, I like that!  

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
13 posted 2007-04-15 03:05 PM


Ah...but the echoes of forgotten loves help us to learn to treasure all the more the love that surrounds us now and in the future...even echoes have lessons to learn that make us better and happier people....Lovely writing...*Big Hugs*
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