'Perfect' Love? - pipTalk Forums

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secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

0 posted 2007-04-04 08:30 PM

      ‘Perfect’ Love

Here in this vacant place,
this silent space....
in this last broken city
where grey light
grips the grimy air
of stifled hopes
and forgotten dreams
that settle nowhere....
the night constricts
close streets
and narrow minds
that seek...only a
desperate dawn!

I walk dim corridors
of decaying faith
just beyond the path
   of ignorance
armed with only words
[that shimmer and ring
   like snow and thunder]
of ‘perfect’ Love,
left unrequited...and caught
in one eternal moment....
stolen from relentless Time!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

1 posted 2007-04-04 09:08 PM

I especially like the idea of precious moments stolen from time. Enjoyed.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2007-04-05 12:13 PM

Well chosen words evoking sadness and loss:
"stifled hopes" and "desperate dawn"
contrasted with hope,
as unrequited Love steals itself away

"in one eternal moment....
stolen from relentless Time"

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

3 posted 2007-04-05 01:48 AM

"armed with only words
[that shimmer and ring
like snow and thunder]"

Super cool! I liked this very much

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

4 posted 2007-04-05 07:50 AM

conveyed an astonishing array of stoically gripping emotions, you've sustained feelings which decide the next path...marvelous writing

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2007-04-05 10:21 AM

secondhanddreampoet
Well done a delight to read.

ArtSolstice
Member

since 2007-03-18

Posts 498

6 posted 2007-04-05 10:52 AM

A balance of yielding and unyielding, temporal and permanent, visible and invisible, with echoes of loneliness, sorrow, sadness, and regrets skillfully conveyed.

Drauntz
Member Elite

since 2007-03-16

Posts 2905
Los Angeles California

7 posted 2007-04-05 03:00 PM

wow.

ArtSolstice
Member

since 2007-03-18

Posts 498

8 posted 2007-04-05 03:44 PM

Yes, Drauntz, this one is definately wow-able.

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