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Open Poetry #40
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15: 6
| Open Poetry #40 |
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15: 6 |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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15: 6 I don’t know how he found me hiding there, a little rock-strewn draw below the peak; it was too dark for tracks to lead him where I’d wedged between two shadows and a stone, ground deeper every time I heard the shriek of wolves, and knew that they were drawing near. I don’t know how I came to be alone; I never meant to stray, to disappear. We lolled among the flowers, the grass so deep, still near the others and yet on my own, then suddenly, the cold and dark and fear, no calls, no shepherds, and the world gone steep. Now in the black of night he pulled me clear -- “Rejoice,” he shouted, “I have found my sheep!” [This message has been edited by Ratleader (03-19-2007 02:34 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I guess it does kinda feel that way sometimes |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
Definitely a reason to rejoice, we are never alone. I enjoyed walking along with this piece. always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed....what a remarkable pull down the slope of your words to the precipice of discovery. I like this...a bunch! Very different, very good!  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I'm still ambivalent about this poem....does anybody else think I hampered it by insisting that it be a Sonnet, and one with a complex rhyme pattern? I'm even ambivalent about the title -- first it was Luke 15:6, but then I decided that was too churchy and people wouldn't read it....so I made it Luke and actually posted it here that way....decided that sucked wind too for different reasons, and settled on just the numbers....which somehow don't do it for me either! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Ed I don't think the form hurt it at all, since I didn't even notice. Still, I liked the poem's impact. You could call it, Saved.? |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like the title... it intrigues. *S* And I know I've said this before... but your sonnets restore belief in the form to those of us who've read too many "sonnets" built on forced rhyme. *S* I love the point of view you chose... this is just beautiful! *S* |
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dingusjr Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415Missouri |
Rat...just found this one and liked. Makes we want to try a Sonnet or two. But then you did this one sooo well. |
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