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Open Poetry #40
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*Sweet Dreams*
New Member
since 2007-02-20
Posts 9
NSW,Australia

0 posted 2007-03-16 05:56 AM


Caress me
Like you do your keyboard
Walk beside me in these shades
Of white and black and grey
Feels like its been forever
Since i have felt you
I'm talking about love..

I only know how this feels for me
For every breath you take
And every move you make,
Deep inside my heart
I begin to break
And it dawns to me,
Life is not a movie.

But 12 o clock comes and goes.
And still the river of emotion.
Beneath me flows.
Our love has lied to us.
With you I felt so sure,
But only a fool would rush in
And that's what I did.

I guess in the end even the good guys lose,
We tried so hard and once our love was strong
Tell me what we did so wrong,
I have forgotten
In our whirlwind of face to face.

You're forgiven.

I only know how this feels for me
For every breath you take
And every move you make,
Deep inside my heart
I begin to break
And it dawns to me,
And Love Does Not Conquer All.

N.B
Life Is Not A Movie
Good Guys Lose
Everybody Lies
And Love Does Not Conquer All.

[This message has been edited by *Sweet Dreams* (03-17-2007 07:17 AM).]

© Copyright 2007 *Sweet Dreams* - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2007-03-16 06:58 AM


Sweet Dreams are mad of this....

Yanno, loving someone from afar, sometimes is painful, but the pain subsides, and becomes something so much more...at least for me anyway, it's like friendship supersized...the clarity of this certainly touches the void...in a gentle absolution...



by the way, Love your "Sweet Dreams Are Made of This"   Love that song!

There was a little cafe in the Poconos,(where I lived for 20 years) where one could purchase gourmet coffee and many delightful pastries, pies and cakes for the sweet tooth...it was called "Sweet Dreams"  


icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
2 posted 2007-03-16 08:24 PM


A sad but very lovely write, here. Welcome to Passions I look forward to reading more of your work.

Caroline

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
- Persian Proverb

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
3 posted 2007-03-16 09:47 PM



The title could say it all...but many think love is romance and a yearning for fulfilment.

Good write no matter what.

Welcome to PiP.

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2007-03-17 01:13 AM


a very good poem reflecting an outpouring of emotions...well done...and welcome...
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
5 posted 2007-03-17 01:23 AM


Love just gives one the "will" to conquer all - nothing, simply nothing, happens without the "will".  Welcome to Pip! Enjoyed the read.

Helen

A Romantic Heart
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496
Forever In Your Heart
6 posted 2007-03-23 07:25 AM



secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
7 posted 2007-03-23 09:38 PM


Fine, powerful ‘write’!
[And, of course, welcome to 'P.I.P.'!!]....

In this (likely) ever increasingly nihilistic,
transcendental Universe....the
last two lines of this part of the poem
are perhaps ‘all-too-true’?!....but,
I have yet to be able to force myself
to accept it!:

“I only know how this feels for me
For every breath you take
And every move you make,
Deep inside my heart
I begin to break
And it dawns to me,
And Love Does Not Conquer All.”

Aurelian
Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 109
TX, USA
8 posted 2007-03-23 09:51 PM


Good! Tender and genuine. Maybe you could cut a couple of the "so-s" ("So hard", "So sure"), they weaken the lines a little. Also, the "That's what I did" line strikes me as a little too predictable.
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