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Open Poetry #40
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Jeremy Redinger
Junior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 46


0 posted 2007-03-14 02:15 AM


The Champagne Rose


A dream in a crystal glass
This moment in pearls of time so thin
Nobody notices they're there
Or wonders where they've gone.

The eyes,
It's always been there -
That green tinge,
a lake of soul
So deep,
So pure,
I beg to drown within...

Tear back,
But not to break,
Cling within the limelight,
Of that cool, refreshing drink.

Catch her lips,
Crimson divine,
Sip my martini
Red lips of wine.

Can you taste the sight
Or swallow the sound,
Would you eat the starlight
If no one's around?

Cherry wine,
Strawberry rhyme,
Vintage of time
Taste a lime...

Tequila
Tha killa
Thai villa
Vanilla...

Wrapped in a pool of milk,
The moor of buttery cream
White blankets of silk
Taste the delight of a dream.

The dream in a crystal glass,
Pearls of time gone so fast,
A moment they're there,
And in a word they're... gone.

All that's left is an empty glass,
And the scent...
Of a champagne rose.

© Copyright 2007 Jeremy Redinger - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2007-03-14 07:42 AM


Can you taste the sight
Or swallow the sound,
Would you eat the starlight
If no one's around?


neat write here

Nexis_Rose
New Member
since 2007-03-14
Posts 7
Arkansas, USA
2 posted 2007-03-14 12:11 PM


great poem! I'll be looking for your other submissions.

"Our physical bodies are merely temporary hosts for our everlasting souls."

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2007-03-14 01:12 PM


All that's left is an empty glass,
And the scent...
Of a champagne rose.


extraordinarily compelling with an erie effect....supurb writing

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
4 posted 2007-03-15 08:22 PM


This is fabulous and deserves a *bump* back to the top! Very sensual and I love how you use your words.

Cherry wine,
Strawberry rhyme,
Vintage of time
Taste a lime...

great stuff here!

Caroline

He who wants a rose must respect the thorn.
- Persian Proverb

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2007-03-16 06:46 PM


NIce...James
Jeremy Redinger
Junior Member
since 2001-02-27
Posts 46

6 posted 2007-03-17 02:04 AM


Thank you all for your wonderful responses! They mean a lot to me It's been a long time since I've written anything. Get caught up in the curly weave of life and lose track of things I really enjoy. It's a good feeling to write again.

If anyone is curious, this entire poem is a metaphor of sorts. The rose is a man's heart that dares to entice a woman, and the champagne (and various other types of alcohol mentioned) represents the intoxicating nature of a the man's character, personality, and spirit. One might consider it a poem describing the dance of emotions a man such as Don Juan or Romeo might experience while seducing the woman they desire.

It does go a bit deeper than that, to be fair - but in a way that should never be explained, only artistically understood at the emotional level.

Anyway, thanks again! I hope I haven't bored or scared anyone away from my poetry

All the best to each of you,
Jeremy

x

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
7 posted 2007-03-18 10:56 AM


"This moment in pearls of time so thin"  <----great line here!

"Would you eat the starlight  <---love this visual
If no one's around?"

I adored this piece and enjoyed your expanded explanation, "only artistically understood at the emotional level."  Well, all I can say is I liked reading this from a readers level and was not bored one bit.  *wink wink*

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

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