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Open Poetry #40
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Our Ark
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Our Ark |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Rewrite: Our Ark Tender embers burn within Churning of our primal begin Who’ll touch a spark within the dark? Who’ll save the lives within this ark? Blow tinder and relight again The dying green within the glen Death blows a dusty gray The breath of our futures lay Casting shadows ghostly maul Misdirecting echoes fall Teardrops like an impulse wave Water down the fires grave Blacken rims each circles brim Smothering the slim to grim Cloaking dumb each embers out One by one each tear and doubt Placing cover on the bright This nova to explode in night |
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| © Copyright 2007 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Moonkist Member
since 2006-09-29
Posts 197Pennsylvania |
WoW! Very vivid! Very visual! Crescending to a climactic ending! Beautiful work... made me feel... alive... Freedom Now |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy "Tender embers burn within Churning of our primal begin Who’ll touch a spark within the dark? Who’ll save the lives within this ark?" A poet will  |
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ivordavies Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739Chester, England |
Sy, "Tender embers burn within Churning of our primal begin Who’ll touch a spark within the dark? Who’ll save the lives within this ark?" Sorry for quoting the same stanza as Martie, but the essence of this compliments my last posted poem! Like Martie, I wish to answer this question: Only oneself will, with a little help from one's friends.... Again I find your poetry exceptional in conveying feelings tied to comparisons that 'fire' the imagination, Ivor |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
"Who’ll touch a spark within the dark? Who’ll save the lives within this ark?" Are we not all floating on this ark? Very well put together. |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
this was definately effective, felt like Poe. Well done |
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