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Open Poetry #40
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aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

0 posted 2007-03-11 07:27 PM


-- I was talking to friends at work the other day about sexual abuse of children.I believe it is more than important - that it is imperitive - to acknowledge that it is a huge part of who I am today."Smashing Secrets" is the poem that I refer to in this poem.I don't let my history dictate who I am today, but I believe it is my responsibility to share and let others know that we are out there.Those who have been abused - those who hope that by sharing, we "smash secrets"

Thank you if you choose to read these two poems. --

--------

Sometimes I hate my poetry
With a force that reminds me how much
I once hated you.
But my story has no end

I just grow stronger in the telling

Power grew out of pity – how you hated that
And I smile knowing it is the last thing you wanted
You said once that you could never break me
Poor, pathetic man

You didn’t know that I broke you the first time
You reached out to me
I was your mirror
and in me you saw your weakness

Unbroken, I stand and tell of the
Poor, pathetic man.

Alison

© Copyright 2007 Alison - All Rights Reserved
icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
1 posted 2007-03-11 07:48 PM


I don't let my history dictate who I am today - Thank goodness... I am proud that you can be your own person. You are brave, my friend.

I was your mirror
and in me you saw your weakness


This is a truth that many never know... I love this line.


Aziza - you are a powerful person. I want to thank you for sharing with the world something that is so difficult... so much so that some still want to keep quiet the fact that this happens every day to innocents. It is something I feel very, very strongly about, as abuse has happened to some of my dearest friends. The silence must be broken, the secrets smashed, in order to stop the devastation. Your poetry is strong and beautiful, cathartic and real. I'd like to share it with a special friend of mine, if you don't mind.

Keep smashing, and so will we. {{{Hugs}}} and thank you again.
Caroline

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
2 posted 2007-03-11 08:08 PM


Caroline,

Thank you.  Please share both poems as you see fit to.  My heart goes out to your friend - please tell her that she is in my thoughts.  

I do so appreciate you.
Alison

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2007-03-13 06:38 AM


there should never be secrets like that kept inside where they eat away at the soul...thanks for sharing and speaking out


ivordavies
Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739
Chester, England
4 posted 2007-03-13 08:13 PM


Alison,

Somehow I feel that you are only brushing the surface in both of these poems.  I do not intend to lessen the difficulty or importance of the words you have so far managed to express in your poetry so far.

I do feel, however, that there is much more, however difficult, that you may find able to share.  Maybe pure prose could be the outlet for this.  As we have had to help with the consequences of these sick (I resist a stronger word) perpetrators of this abuse, I know how helpful it can be for people to share experiences of this nature.

I found myself reading between the lines and wondered if anybody not appreciating the hell that people live in these situations would have been able to fully understand this.

I have seen peoples lives totally destroyed by a mildly physically abusive parent, that I would have said was just old fashioned standards and i have also seen survivors like yourself who have lived through the most terrible circumstances who have rebuilt their lives.

Your poetry will certainly help the abused, but a more in depth piece might go someway towards preventing or stopping it.

I am possibly asking too much from somebody strong enough to produce what you have so far, but on subjects of this nature sometimes it is the only way to make a difference.

Thank you for both of these pieces, unfortunately it does take me back to some of the children we have had to care for as a result of these perverts....

Ivor  

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
5 posted 2007-03-14 02:28 AM




"Sometimes I hate my poetry
With a force that reminds me how much
I once hated you."


The most strong poetic statement I have read in a long time.

Well done!

Thank you for sharing this heartfelt but so painful a statement.


aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
6 posted 2007-03-14 03:32 AM


Thank you all.

Each of you means a great deal to me - your responses show a depth of caring, not only for me but those we don't know.

Ivor,

I agree with much that you say and will perhaps email you a more indepth response.  When I posted these poems in here, I really thought about it.  But, I was thinking of our younger readers and thinking that this is a forum that I can reach out without writing in prose.

I publically speak about child abuse and how it relates (and related) to me.  I am not a brave person -- or even all that strong -- I just am a person.  I never believed that I was repsonsible for what happened to me.  I didn't think about it as much as I endured it.

My father was an ill man -- a pervert?  Yes, he was.  An intelligent man?  Brilliat.  Would you have liked him?  Most of you probably would have.  He was untreated bi polar and he was mentally ill.  He lived his own hell and it took me a long time to see that.  I don't condone what he did - and I don't understand it on many levels.  On some other levels, sadly -- I do understand it.

I don't think we ever get over being abused - there are always triggers to bring it back.  It's a life long issue -- when I feel anger, I write.  When I am happy, I write.  When I am sick of the weather, I write.  I write about everything.  

Thank you all for reading the words that I write.

Alison

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
7 posted 2007-03-14 12:21 PM


And you write soooo well. Very brave..very moving.
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2007-03-14 12:49 PM


I find atrocities and disgust in the deepest part of my soul, when I hear of someone who has been abused...and then I wonder why our country refuses to address this in the legal way it should be addressed...and I commend you for your strength, honesty, and to not allow anything to burn down this house...your a marvelous writer, so keep on keepin on.  

Hugs

ivordavies
Senior Member
since 2007-01-10
Posts 739
Chester, England
9 posted 2007-03-14 04:22 PM


Aziza,

Firstly, thank you for your response to my comments that were asking you to go further than I had any right to.  I tried to avoid using the word pervert as I normally do not judge and then unfortunately went on to use it later in my comments, may I apologise for that.

You are indeed 'more than a survivor' and I applaud the work you do, you are a brave person.

Anybody willing to open their soul for the benefit of others is taking a huge step and although, as you know, you get some personal benefit from it, you also get adverse reactions that can set you apart from others.

On reading my comments I know that I deliberately trod ground that could have led to a fiery response, though I knew from our 'meetings' it would not.

I admire your strength  and would look forward to any analysis of your journey to move forward, though not of the facts.  Please feel free to email me at any time.

Namaste,

Ivor

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
10 posted 2007-03-14 08:21 PM




"But my story has no end

I just grow stronger in the telling"

such powerful work Alison

keep telling your story
for yourself
and others...


aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
11 posted 2007-03-15 01:47 AM


Thank you all.  You touch me.
I tried Ivor's suggestion and did the prose thing.

It's a bit .. rambly?

Anyway, here's the link - if I can get it to link

/pip/Forum15/HTML/002534.html

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