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Open Poetry #40
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aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!

0 posted 2007-03-08 03:05 AM


Thoughts hammered to a blank screen became
graffiti written in radiant colors of raging red

Words exploded in all directions
Empty promises trampled a fragile truce
shattered a vestige of innocence
until nothing remained but the simplicity of truth

They were forever linked by life blood chains

But thoughts hammered to a blank screen became
graffiti written in radiant colors of raging red
and even chains were not forever binding

aziza

© Copyright 2007 Alison - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2007-03-08 07:07 AM


I like this

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
2 posted 2007-03-08 07:10 AM


"nothing remained but the simplicity of truth"

Yes, the simplicity of truth is something worth fighting for.  Enjoyed the read!

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
3 posted 2007-03-08 08:55 PM




"and even chains were not forever binding"

yes
powerful stuff here Alison

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

4 posted 2007-03-08 10:04 PM


excellent write with beautiful turns of lovely phrases... loved this stanza

"Words exploded in all directions
Empty promises trampled a fragile truce
shattered a vestige of innocence
until nothing remained but the simplicity of truth"

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
5 posted 2007-03-09 11:07 PM


With heart-felt thanks to all of you .. I thought of not posting this one .. wasn't sure how I felt about it.  Still not sure even after stepping back from the emotion a bit.  But, it means a lot to see each of your comments.

Thank you.
A

divine chaos
Senior Member
since 2006-07-09
Posts 617
dancing 'neath the moon
6 posted 2007-03-11 10:02 AM


zi .. i'm glad to finally have the time and brain power to actually bounce back in here and read you again, I love this one

... but ya know, I've decided that my favorite of all your creativities is the one that makes my daughter get out of bed at 2 in the morning to draw with you   she loved getting to talk to you last night.

~sheli~

By words the mind is winged
~Aristophanes~

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
7 posted 2007-03-11 02:52 PM


Busted!!!!

I loved that time with her - she is so damned smart and funny.  She thanked me for the poem that I wrote to her when her dog died.  Said her favorite line was

"Sometimes life just kicks you in the ass"

That just cracked me up.

icequeen
Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633
FL USA
8 posted 2007-03-11 10:58 PM


There is such power in you, and it spills out and transfers to the readers. I think this is excellent.


Caroline

aziza
Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995
Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy!
9 posted 2007-03-12 01:28 AM


Caroline

Thank you very much for all the wonderful comments to my poetry.  You have made me smile over and over in the last 24 hours.

Alison

Janette
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now
10 posted 2007-03-15 03:29 PM


"Empty promises trampled a fragile truce'

This speaks volumes to me.  And I adore your use of RED letters for it enhanced the line - "graffiti written in radiant colors of raging red." (wow...great line!)

always seeking joy, adventure and romance and wishing you find the same

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