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Open Poetry #40
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Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA

0 posted 2007-02-20 03:09 PM


In the dwindle of the daylight hours
all too familiar thoughts may dwell.
Those which prefer the fading light
to cast their melancholy spell.

Here lie those memories entwined
of present day with distant past,
of former loves and futures bright
by choices rendered overcast.

As if, when daylight comes to close,
in contemplation of what's done,
what stirs upon an evening breeze
is where your thoughts are apt to run,

down pathways interspersed with sighs
for what may have been otherwise.

© Copyright 2007 William E.Kleist - All Rights Reserved
Rod
Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 149
Auckland New Zealand
1 posted 2007-02-20 03:28 PM


Extremely well written!
A poem to which everyone will surely relate.
Enjoyed it very much.Thank you.

The greatest thing you can do for another is not just to share your own riches...but to reveal to him his own.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2007-02-20 03:30 PM


dwindle...good word

I'm ready for the day to be over with myself

could use an evening breeze

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
3 posted 2007-02-20 04:38 PM


Rod,
Thanks so much for the review. This one went unfinished for about two weeks, I just couldn't seem to get the ending, finally it kinda fell into place.
Doc

Passing Shadows,
Thank you. One of three in the standard English language from what I understand .
I just couldn't seem to fit "Dwarf" in.
Doc

Rod
Member
since 1999-12-08
Posts 149
Auckland New Zealand
4 posted 2007-02-20 05:13 PM


Yes..I 've found it sometimes pays to pause for thought when trying to end a good poem. It certainly worked for you in this instance as the metre works really well.

The greatest thing you can do for another is not just to share your own riches...but to reveal to him his own.

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