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Open Poetry #40
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Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

0 posted 2007-01-26 03:39 PM


Dark shadows fall on concrete
paved with bruises and disappointments.
Tenement windows light up
with 25 watt globes piercing the gloom
like the spirit of Christmas pierces the cynicism of twelve months.
Holland blinds, flat and dull are half drawn against the night
and children retire early hungry and disillusioned.
For tomorrow and the next day will be smudges of similarity
as the swings hang empty of bottoms or warmth
and the see-saws sigh for company in the rising wind
while the children search among the rubble
for traces of familiarity... and their old lives.

a good commitee can decimate communication.

© Copyright 2007 Lynne Dale - All Rights Reserved
Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
1 posted 2007-01-26 03:42 PM


Kethry~
There is stark reality in your thoughts ...
and you paint it so real~

'Dark shadows fall on concrete
paved with bruises and disappointments.'


So very original are your poetic thoughts ...
this is a marvelously descriptive piece~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

trutodaraiders
Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820
CA
2 posted 2007-01-26 03:48 PM


Enjoyed the read..~Bill
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2007-01-26 05:16 PM


Kethry
A remarkable write. Very well done.

Sunshine
Administrator
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2007-01-26 05:46 PM


What was the actual date of this write, Keth?  
If before Christmas, stark reality of
what some will, or won't receive;
if after the holiday, again, stark reality
of what magic can't remove...

overall, an excellent job, which is, of course,

you.

Thank you for coming home.




Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2007-01-26 06:41 PM


sunshiney one, the actual date of this poem was 26th January...our Australia day and I was thinking of the troops in Iraq or Afghanistan or somewhere and wondering what the children there played on?

a good commitee can decimate communication.

sewasham
Senior Member
since 2006-09-11
Posts 714
Oklahoma, USA
6 posted 2007-01-27 11:45 PM


Stark realism. Very nice. Take care and Have fun. Steve


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2007-01-28 07:08 AM


I wish I had enough money to be able to give the chilrden all over the world a good life like I had growing up...

touching piece

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
8 posted 2007-01-28 08:33 AM


can't be much, can it....Nice "seeing you",
good morning Keth.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2007-01-28 09:44 AM


Hi, Keth! Pleased to see you posting again!

"Tenement windows light up
with 25 watt globes piercing the gloom
like the spirit of Christmas pierces the cynicism of twelve months."

~ Powerful images and sentiments!

As Scrooge did say after the light went on in his miserly humbug head:
"God bless the children! ~ Each and every one!"

Love & God's Light,
Linda

Marsha
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since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
10 posted 2007-01-28 11:50 AM


Beloved one NO ONE writes half so well or so realistically. The scene is so stark, the picture so clear it is as if I were watching the news. Outstanding writing, why oh why can’t I write like you? I know if wishes were horses beggars would ride, Oh well at least I am T.P.O. (at least I hope so) although darling one you know I shall never have half your talent, I shall have to get by on charm, or smoke and mirrors whichever works best.

Truly amazing writing and you know I love it don’t you.
Love you always
like you forever
Mushy
x x x x x x x

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
11 posted 2007-01-29 05:24 AM


Kethry.... awesome write!   RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

seraphin
Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004
Michigan
12 posted 2007-01-30 12:05 PM


Stark. Very vivid and done to perfection. Wonderful read.
Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2007-01-30 12:24 PM


This is....a little too good, a little too real, a little too true, for me. It triggers....what it triggers, in me....and makes me shiver. That's all I'll say.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

The Lady
Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634
The Southwest
14 posted 2007-01-30 08:37 PM



very powerful work

"For tomorrow and the next day will be smudges of similarity"

wredgranny
Member
since 2006-11-18
Posts 493
Ky. USA
15 posted 2007-01-30 10:06 PM



Siyo I know many such places,and such children here in the land of milk and honey,you tell their story so very well and my heart thanks you for reminding others not all life is sunshine and roses.


  granny!

Interloper
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since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
16 posted 2007-01-31 10:06 AM


Well done

Poet, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write.

suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
17 posted 2007-03-05 03:54 PM


and children retire early hungry and disillusioned.
For tomorrow and the next day will be smudges of similarity
as the swings hang empty of bottoms or warmth
and the see-saws sigh for company in the rising wind
while the children search among the rubble
for traces of familiarity... and their old lives.

Oh, my....

I know I copied almost the entire poem... but the pictures you paint so vividly with your words are ones I can't do justice to with my words... This is magnificent!!

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