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Open Poetry #40
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2007-01-24 02:10 PM


They tell me I am quacking up
because I've been a little down.
They said that I was daffy too--
so I responded wtih a frown
uddering a "cluck."

They asked about my rooster then
how many times the cock doth crow--
I told them that I sleep till noon
how the heck am I to know?

"Perhaps we were mistaken, deer"
they brought in a twelve point buck--
I was horrified sincere--
all I need is one good duck!

But I required specialists
determinations must be made--
so there went my dignity
as they examined both my eggs.

(Perhaps I should be more exact--
I had but one, and almost half.)
But that was neither here nor there--
when it wasn't everywhere!

"It is difficult to discern
without a lab report," concerned
they plucked some feathers offa me
and told me to avoid consort.

(I cackled hard at that.)

They told me to go home and wait.
Avoidance of the "contact sport"
I told 'em that my team had played
too long, too hard, too many days--
and thus I erred with my retort--
I could not resist a "snort".

Much excitement did commence
and probes and weird appliances
were put into my sinuses--
and other, um, unmentionable
places taken off my map
they clapped each other on the back
so I got scared and asked them "quack?"

"Oh we are not buying that--
after all that we went through,
you ought to show more gratitude!
We're geniuses--you have issues!
you thought that you could hide the truth
with feathers and some worn out plume
but now that we have heard you snort
we will write in our report
in spite of all your ill repute,
our diagnosis is Swine Flu!
Now aren't you ashamed of you?"

I shook my feathers, said "Quack you--
I thought for sure I was a hen
what with all this feathering--
I got myself in quite a stew!
I did not mean to scheme a ruse
nor pull the wool over your eyes
I'm just baa-aaa-aad, but you are wise."
I must have said this sheepishly
because they looked again at me,
a little more suspiciously:

"How long have you had these curls?"
"As long as I have been a girl"
"When's the last time you were shorn?"
"Let me think--before the storm?"
the doctor interrupted me
"We just might have some mimicry--
perhaps you have some other pest--
one that acts like all the rest.
We'll just take a few more tests."
He handed me another sheet
and wrote upon it "BVD"?

I fell sick near instantly--
I never felt so ill at ease,
not when Noah called for me
to board the Ark and flee the scene
of water, water everywhere
and not a drop to drink.
So I looked at him and "barked"
completing my menagerie
of all of my "imaginary"
possibilities.

I took that diagnostics sheet
and cowed my head compliantly--
trying not to "moo" at them
lest I be tested yet again!
I waddled my way to the door,
thinking that I should fly North
instead of South, the mouth of storms
where particles can complicate
(I might become a whooping crane)
if they didn't medicate
me into a mutant mouse
with congratulations of
an episode of "HOUSE".

So I smiled at them and said,
"I'll be seeing you real soon
and please accept apologies
if I seemed abrupt or rude."

They patted me upon my head.
Success! (because I'm not quite dead)
"We'll have you on your feet just yet!"
(I didn't tell them those were webbed)
I smiled the sweetest smile I gnu
I faked sincerity, subdued
before I mewed my gratitude:

"I'd just like to say, 'cluck you'"
and then? I flew the coop!

The End?

*  *  *

And yeah, I know that this is bad.
But you all know I've written worse.
Truncated and convenient rhyme
I know I do it all the time,
but I just had a huge breakthrough--
bad poetry will not kill you.

So I hope I made ya'll smile--
I'd like to stick around a while
so I'll be good and take my meds
I'll walk real slow and rest in bed
writing truly awful verse-
I'll try harder not to curse--
I know I've been a bad, bad girl--
yet I am nodding-- I've been worse

and oh it felt so good.



* * * * *



© Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2007-01-24 02:22 PM


I'd like to thank icebox/Charly for the bit of inspiration. (I'd have edited the thank you in, but knowing me I'd have messed that up.)

But..um, thanks Charly.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2007-01-25 10:30 PM


Ser......ah....I chuckled the whole way through, you know me.....anyhow, glad Charly got ya going on this one.  It's just ducky!  *hugs*......jojo
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2007-01-25 11:26 PM


I'll try harder not to curse--
I know I've been a bad, bad girl--
yet I am nodding-- I've been worse

and oh it felt so good.
* * * * *

And me?  I'll keep my promise....




Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2007-01-26 01:04 AM


quote:
could not resist a "snort".

Me either!

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
5 posted 2007-01-26 03:49 AM


Loved this. You are too much.  Hope you are feeling better. martyjo
Roniece Dawson-Bruce
Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689
Sydney, Australia
6 posted 2007-01-26 04:56 AM


Serenity... you rock girlfriend!!   RDB

Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight.........

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
7 posted 2007-01-26 07:10 AM


Serenity,

    You're the best!  Me think behind this rhyme there be a bit of truth.  I'm glad to see you pull humor from the air... and your rhyme???  I enjoyed the heck out of it!  

   Sent you and others a bit of chicken soup yesterday... Drink up!

cathy

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2007-01-26 09:27 AM


Karen, I swear, your wit is something to be admired, and you always find humor in every situation...regardless...in my book, lady, you've had some darn hard curve balls to hit...but you always seem to manage slamming them into the grandstand so, know that we're here not only rooting for you, but knowing you will....

Love to you




trutodaraiders
Senior Member
since 2006-12-02
Posts 820
CA
9 posted 2007-01-26 10:14 AM


No kidding! Humor and wit at it's best! You sure did add a smile upon my face this morning!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
10 posted 2007-01-26 11:59 AM


Serene One, I knew that you had a multi-faceted personality, but I was surprised to learn that many of those facets were animals! lol lol lol

Be a good little solitary and take your potions as prescribed by your witch doctor! lol

Never lose your wonderful sense of humour!

Giving you a get-well-soon hug,

Linda



serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

11 posted 2007-01-26 06:13 PM




I just don't know what got into me.



thank you

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2007-01-26 06:14 PM


Serenity~
When I saw 'Ark Complications',
I thought, 'OH NO ... another levy breached'!

Then I found not a levy, but a bevy of thoughts pouring down the page~

Whew ... relief is in sight~

Take care girlie girl~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email -             noles1@totcon.com

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
13 posted 2007-01-26 07:19 PM


enjoyed
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