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Passions in Poetry

Solace

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ponderthepoetorrsx
Member
since 06-25-2011
Posts 285
U.S , Ca


0 posted 08-29-2014 10:36 AM       View Profile for ponderthepoetorrsx   Email ponderthepoetorrsx   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for ponderthepoetorrsx


I want to go home,
Yes I want to go home
Where is my heart?
On vacation loving someone else.

While I won't find solace in a bottle,
I can't find heaven in a cup of tea
heaven is in a bottle,
No no no
Heaven is behind a pair of eyes,
Between a pair of lips
That I will never kiss,
Oh that I will never kiss.

Oh I'm a vagabond
That nobody knows
I'm a simpleton
Yes I'm a simpleton.

While I can find solace in a bottle,
I won't find heaven in a cup of tea.
Heaven is in a bottle
No no no,
Heaven is behind a pair of eyes
Between a pair of lips
That I will never kiss,
Oh that I will never kiss.

I'm a vagabond,
A simpleton,
A singleton
Who nobody knows.

I want to go home
But my heart is on vacation
Loving somebody else.

An empty cup of tea,
Heaven in a bottle
A sparkling pair of eyes,
Dreams between a pair of lips,
That I will never kiss
Oh that I will never kiss.

Just a vagabond
Who wants to home,
But his heart is on vacation
Loving someone else,
While he finds heaven in a bottle
And an empty cup of tea.
© Copyright 2014 richard salgado - All Rights Reserved
jwesley
Member Ascendant
since 04-30-2000
Posts 6750
Texas . . .


1 posted 08-29-2014 09:04 PM       View Profile for jwesley   Email jwesley   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jwesley

Enjoyed the first 3 stanza's, my friend, but kind of lost me after that - - - not sure I understood where it was going.

Thanks for the read.

j.
Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 02-08-2003
Posts 21785
Eternity


2 posted 09-01-2014 07:11 AM       View Profile for Margherita   Email Margherita   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Margherita

You sing a melancholic song here ... home is where your heart is I guess and maybe instead of the bottle you might give it a try ... who knows if on the other side there is a similar feeling?

Margherita
jjote
Member
since 12-25-2002
Posts 482
Canadian resident


3 posted 02-21-2015 02:06 PM       View Profile for jjote   Email jjote   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for jjote

I don't know if it's intentional but there are verses somewhere down the lines which were repetitive. Maybe deleting them will make reading smooth and flowing nicely since  the last verse has captured or reiterated these lines, and making this ending stronger or more powerful.

A lover's lament I'd call this, but don't despair, you may find a new one further down the road. Cheers!
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