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Joyce Johnson
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since 2001-03-10
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Washington State

0 posted 2009-11-30 11:42 AM



We forget soon as we shiver
Or go skating on the river
How we suffered last July,
When the temperature was high.
We're hard to please and don't
remember
So we beg in cold December
For the heat that we rejected
When it was so unexpected
And we thought that we would
die.
God in patient understanding
Of His children so demanding
Shakes His head at foolish man
And continues with His plan,
As the seasons roll on by.

By: Joyce 2009

© Copyright 2009 Joyce I Johnson - All Rights Reserved
Denise
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since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

1 posted 2009-12-01 02:18 PM


Lovely, Joyce!
Trillium
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Member Patricius
since 2001-03-09
Posts 12098
Idaho, USA
2 posted 2009-12-02 12:49 PM


So true Joyce!  I enjoyed your poem.

Love
Betty Lou

Betty Lou Hebert

Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
3 posted 2009-12-02 01:02 AM


But, but ... if we didn't have the weather -- how would we ever open our conversations???  I like this one, Joyce.  We are so hard to please, aren't we.

xoxoo
Alison

2dalimit
Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228
Mississippi coast
4 posted 2009-12-08 06:31 PM


I enjoyed this read.
Thanks,
Melton

Zeigeist
Member
since 2009-12-09
Posts 311
Michigan
5 posted 2009-12-10 02:04 PM


So true, so true, and you put it down wonderfully on paper.

Z.

Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
6 posted 2010-01-13 05:46 PM


Joyce,

This is a lovely poem pointing out our seasonal dismay, I'm thankful we have a loving, patient Father who understands.

Dennis :^)

Klassy Lassy
Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187
Oregon
7 posted 2010-01-14 11:26 PM


Isn't that the truth!  I like where I live.  It's gorgeous and green here and not given to extreme temperatures, usually, but it rains, rains, rains...from October until June. Not many people use umbrellas here, though.  They just face into it, and wish for blue sky to put in an appearance.  Oddly enough, we get a couple weeks of spring-like weather in February, and and I so hope the ground hog does not see his shadow!   )
Beasley
Senior Member
since 2003-11-28
Posts 682
Cheboygan,MI USA
8 posted 2010-01-15 07:46 AM


You really word painted human nature. Great poem!
Barb

Joyce Johnson
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Washington State
9 posted 2010-01-16 07:35 PM


Thank you all of my classy poet friends for reading and commenting on my poetry.  Love, Joyce
Trapped - Nothing
Member
since 2010-04-25
Posts 52

10 posted 2010-04-26 11:30 AM


So we beg in cold December
For the heat that we rejected
When it was so unexpected
And we thought that we would
die.


These lines are flowing and organized.  
I like when people use metaphors.  In this case, your form  and structure is somewhat solid, but the use of metaphors/simile is lacking.
When people use metaphors/similes especially when the form and structure is decent, the meaning and emotion  is multipied
x100.  

So we yearn like howling dogs in cold December
For the tumultous heat that we rejected
The heat, so uninvited and unexpected
Our days we would send because we thought we would die


I hope this constructive

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
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Washington State
11 posted 2010-04-27 01:08 AM


Dear Trapped.  Why don't you show some of your own poetry rather than rewriting ours?  Joyce
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