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BrokenWinged_Angel
Junior Member
since 2005-12-17
Posts 29


0 posted 2008-06-12 03:07 AM




Who am I you ask?

I am the person you never want to be.
The little girl molested
By her family, the one you saw on T.V.
The daughter that you failed to protect
And never thought to believe
I'm the girl who hid the bruises
You know from what, you're not naive

I'm the one who no one noticed
That ran away into winters night
Shivering cold in the darkness
Selling my soul for some hope
Did so many drugs, I was a mess
Then stumbled back home again
To find I wasn't missed

I'm the one who wasn't good enough
To be like all the rest
Always told so, and stop trying for stuff
But did it anyways...
To show that I was tough
Yet even when I made it
Somehow it never earned the needed love

That woman with the battered jaw
The homeless on the corner
The ones you say you never saw
Struggling to get by
That fight both man and natures law
Living life mainly alone
Haunted by a crows lonely caws

The one who's felt the loss
Of a brother, of friends, and family
Straight through to the boss
Each one dying alone to something
Each making her want to hit the sauce
Every death another broken dream
And another hope destroyed then tossed

I'm the one who had and lost it all
Then married in a blind grief
Never knowing the price it'd come to call
Bound to another, for his pleasure
Doomed alone to fall
I'm the one thats been there, done that
And still can almost stand tall

I've lost my hope, my dreams, my home
To many times to count
The sad stories that I'm often told
Are ones that I have lived
So I stand and listen, growing cold
Recognizing evil in humanity
Thats growing ever more bold

I'll give everything, it's true
In order to help you out
Catch your tears when you're blue
And show you the easier route
Gently to avoid the pain, to you
A friend in live I'll be
Until my tale is through..

Who am I you ask?
Look in the mirror..
For part of me is in every one of you.

~Formerly known as Broken Winged Angel~

Life is like a coin.  You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.

© Copyright 2008 Nicole Anderson - All Rights Reserved
BrokenWinged_Angel
Junior Member
since 2005-12-17
Posts 29

1 posted 2008-06-12 03:11 AM


I'm reposting this because I want some feedback on how to improve it.  It doesn't flow quite the way I want it to, no matter how many times I go back and try to edit it.

So feedbacks more then welcomed

BWA~

~Formerly known as Broken Winged Angel~

Life is like a coin.  You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.

Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2008-06-14 02:03 AM


Dear Broken Winged Angel.  I am confused.  You say you were formerly known as Broken Winged Angel.  But anyway your tenderness is showing.  I just got home from being away for a week and found this.  I will take some time tomorrow to see if I have any suggestions for you but my first impression is that its heartfelt and well done.  Love, Joyce
rmortimer1987
New Member
since 2008-05-05
Posts 7
Qld Australia
3 posted 2008-06-15 11:44 AM


BWA - this is a beauthiful and heart felt poem and at some stage every person will relate to some part of this poem that you have written.....

i cant suggest any way to improve it as i read it through a few times and felt the flow of it suited the content and position you were writing from. because you felt broken and battered the flow being the same way works - thats how i feel at any rate...

i think you have done well and cudos for being so brave to come through everything in this and still be able to see the light and love in people.

Ruth


Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California
4 posted 2008-07-14 12:56 PM


You gave us your heart, what more can we ask?
                             Ida

midnightblues
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597
Singapore
5 posted 2008-07-14 12:45 PM


The powerful emotions put together with simple words, your writing touched me..

Love,
MiCheLLe

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues

GothicCherry
Member
since 2008-09-16
Posts 471
TN
6 posted 2008-09-24 02:06 PM


The way I see it the flow isn't near as important as the heart you put in this..I understand everything you revealed in this poem and i hope my poems hold as much meaning as this one does.
Ada'Do'Lis'Do'Ti
Junior Member
since 2006-07-04
Posts 24
germany
7 posted 2008-10-04 07:34 PM


I have to agree with everyone...I am sorry it still doesn't feel right, we are most often our own worst critic.

If every day is blessed, why do I feel so depressed.

Hope Fleeting
Member
since 2009-02-23
Posts 52
Smalltown, Somewhere
8 posted 2009-02-23 03:21 AM


Joyce Johnson ~ I was.. many years ago it seems.  However, someone hacked into my ya~ account and I lost everything that I had registered with there, including my first handle here.  I've been searching ever since for a "new" handle that felt comfortable to wear.

rmortimer1987 ~ thank you for taking the time to respond.

Marchmadness ~ Thank you... I always put what I'm feeling into my writing.

midnightblues ~ Your words always mean a lot to me.  Thank you for responding.

GothicCherry ~ Thank you.

Ada'Do'Lis'Do'Ti ~ All to true.  Thank you for taking the time to respond.

~ Previously Known as Broken_Winged_Angel and BrokenWinged_Angel~

I know when to bow my head in defeat and move on...

I awake to a world I don

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