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moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North

0 posted 2007-08-19 10:02 PM



Wild

How wild the rose
that whispers to me.

The fragrant scent
of an apple tree.

Lost in the mist
of a water fall.

Evergreen
or not at all.

© Copyright 2007 Paul R Breen - All Rights Reserved
r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

1 posted 2007-08-20 12:28 PM


yes..."wild", seems like 4 different poems and i like each one...ever considered developing each sentence into a separate and unique poem with a bonding or unifying word or thought pattern? I mention it only as a constructive idea. You are very creative and i would like to see what you could do with this suggestion.
Joyce Johnson
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
2 posted 2007-08-20 01:30 AM


Wooo is right.  Each line does sound like a thought that could be expanded.  Joyce
r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

3 posted 2007-08-20 11:35 AM


dog, just had a "wild" thought, after reviewing your poem for about the tenth time.
      "...would a rose by any other name
          still smell as sweet..."
the apple is member of the "rose family"
...evergreen...evergreen...evergreen...
what does it mean...a memory.

r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

4 posted 2007-08-20 11:51 AM


yes, joyce and moondogz, stop...reread and listen...its a picture in one's mind...its a memory...its like the evergeen...its there...its not deciduous! its not lost like falling leaves.
r v wooo
Senior Member
since 2007-08-07
Posts 656

5 posted 2007-08-26 01:21 PM


moondogz, change nothing. its perfect!
Vincent
Member
since 2007-02-03
Posts 52

6 posted 2007-08-26 09:50 PM


this is just excellent..Vincent
moondogz
Member
since 2007-05-01
Posts 397
Great White North
7 posted 2007-09-01 03:04 PM


Thanks everyone for your comments, much appreciated. I'm not positive, but I think
this poem is about conservation. The reason
I'm not sure is because "it" sort of wrote itself. Please excuse my delay in replying.

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