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trebuchet
Junior Member
since 2007-01-12
Posts 30


0 posted 2007-01-16 02:31 AM


It's as if I am visiting after being away far too long.
I had almost forgotten the feeling
of damp air on skin,
the sickly sweet smell of garbage and bums
in the alleys of downtown,
and the way spring doesn't come until June --
buds bursting into colorful crowns
yesterday nonexistant in the green,
now grinning and bobbing outside my window.

I had almost forgotten the contradiction of this place:
How it buzzes, steel and glass planted in wetland;
The reflections in tall, mirrored buildings
of slender trees tacking down squares of earth along gritty streets;
The reflections in wide, windowed buildings
of two people in one trenchcoat beneath a yellow bus sign, kissing;
The reflections in geometric wonders of buildings:
reverse images of brick buildings and black buildings
and of building itself.

I'd let the pierced blonde woman slip my mind:
glittering tragically in anger and rebellion
with her carefully dirty hair,
lounging always outside the coffee shop
with newsprint-blackened fingers
framed by the fog of a hot-tipped cigarette.

I had almost forgotten the noise:
The pregnant silence just before
a strong-armed man in rainboots throws his head back,
hands outstretched in an embrace with thick air
and belts "Fish! FII-IISH!"
in a gravely bass that makes me want to join him
in my own triumphant release;
And the cacaphony of buses, taxis and horse-drawn carts
jockying for position along First Avenue,
all hissing, honking and clopping.

And I am lucky to have been moved to remember
how in a day amongst
the raincoats
and streetlights
and brick buildings
and buses
it's possible to exist solely on this energy
and be satiated, somehow.

II.
Bumper to bumper,
we creep through the arteries of this city together.
Bonding in bored glances from lane to lane,
we flirt -- one metal pod to another --
at seven, eight, fourteen miles per hour.

III.
I finally peel away from the rush hour rest
and fly.

Brakes shriek as I careen around a corner,
reckless in my new freedom.
I pass the standing firemen,
all navy jumpsuits and square jaws,
at the station
with my windows cranked down and
The Doobie Brothers blaring from the one good speaker.

I sing through the sucker tucked in my cheek
just loud enough for them to notice,
though I don't know the words to this one.

The air screams in one window --
whipping my hair about my neck
pouring in my sleeves, around my ankles
then biting cheeks and dampening eyes --
before it bursts out another.

I watch it in the rearview
as it teases the litter in the street behind me;
I watch it grow smaller.

And I watch the dancing light,
filtered through the trees,
flying over my hood, windshield and me,
faster and faster.

An Appaloosa racing through the veins of this metropolis.


I assassin down the avenue.

© Copyright 2007 Elizabeth Louise Murray - All Rights Reserved
midnightblues
Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 1597
Singapore
1 posted 2007-01-16 10:34 AM


Hi trebuchet,

I like the flow of your writing and the skillful use of imagery, nice dark piece
Looking forward to more of your works.

Love,
MiCheLLe

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues

trebuchet
Junior Member
since 2007-01-12
Posts 30

2 posted 2007-01-16 07:26 PM


Thank you... it's always nice to hear positive feedback. That said, I'd love some criticism as well.... if anyone has feedback of any sort, please know I'm very thankful for it.
Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
3 posted 2007-01-16 10:08 PM


I like you style of poetry.  nice flow.

-Juju

-"So you found a girl
Who thinks really deep thougts
What's so amazing about really deep thoughts " Silent all these Years, Tori Amos

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