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Passions in Poetry

It's time

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freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


0 posted 12-09-2008 09:20 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy


So here's another horrible poem that I just wrote, It needs some work, I think, so please help me if you can. I need critiques of any kind.


It's time
To pick up all my things, and throw them away
It's time
To wake up from my sleep, and search for another way

I've walked out the door empty handed
Couldn't take it anymore, I've had it
Don't want nothing of this place
Living in a world I once faced

It's time
To let go of those I loved, and will always love
It's time
To walk away from this life, though it maybe tough

A world of self-centered desires
A life of following the liars
Leading into their eternal death
Tasting the lies in their breath

It's time
To open up my eyes, and see for the first time
It's time
To hurry up and leave, escaping from the theives

I'll leave to another place, a better home
Bringing nothing they have, but my own
My empty heart, empty life, empty hands
Cuz its not where I've been, but where I am


I love pancakes!!!
© Copyright 2008 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
wolf girl
Member
since 12-03-2007
Posts 150
washington, US


1 posted 12-10-2008 01:06 AM       View Profile for wolf girl   Email wolf girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for wolf girl

amazing poem.
KandyGrl511
Member
since 11-30-2008
Posts 52
Michigan


2 posted 12-25-2008 10:59 PM       View Profile for KandyGrl511   Email KandyGrl511   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for KandyGrl511

hey thats not horrible at all
i liked the poem
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


3 posted 12-26-2008 12:14 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

I like it.. Don't be too hard on yourself honey. Your a great writer you just need to believe in yourself every-now and then

-Zach

So together but so broken inside

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