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Passions in Poetry

My Life (My Book)

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freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


0 posted 12-08-2008 08:06 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy


I'm an open, uncompleted book
Write anything you may
When the last chapter is written
The book will be thrown away

A page is worthless
Go ahead, tear out a few
There's no effect to the ending
And it sure won't affect you

The cover is fragile
Easily it will bend
Cuz I have no backbone
Through the pages you'll see the trend

The edges are sharp
So take care when you read
I'm sure to bite
Whenever there's a need

The title draws a blank
No words left to describe this life
All happiness had sank
Drowning in the lies

I'm an open, brittle book
The author is me
When the last chapter is written
Only dust they will see

I love pancakes!!!

© Copyright 2008 Christine Juarez - All Rights Reserved
TrueDesire12
Junior Member
since 12-07-2008
Posts 11
England


1 posted 12-09-2008 03:43 PM       View Profile for TrueDesire12   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for TrueDesire12

I like this poem, very meaningful

TrueDesire
xx
xsaamaanthaax
Junior Member
since 11-28-2008
Posts 21
USA, Arizona.


2 posted 12-10-2008 10:56 PM       View Profile for xsaamaanthaax   Email xsaamaanthaax   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for xsaamaanthaax

Like it alot.
Very nice.
Alot of emotions.
Alot of reality I can relate to.
Falling rain
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 01-31-2008
Posts 2165
Small town, Illinois


3 posted 12-12-2008 04:39 PM       View Profile for Falling rain   Email Falling rain   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Falling rain's Home Page   View IP for Falling rain

Wow I think this would be one of your greatest poems I've read form you by far. The flow was great and the story came in clear. Great work! (Library)

-Zach

I'D RATHER BE ANYTHING BUT ORDINARY!!!! XP

rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


4 posted 12-13-2008 12:19 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

I really like the first stanza and just the overall wording of this. Good write! Two suggestion though , I think sank should be sunk and don't use abbreviations or slang in a poem because it takes away from the power- so change cuz to because.Other than that I really liked this and it flowed pretty well.
Rhia
freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 09-12-2008
Posts 703
CA, USA


5 posted 12-13-2008 06:25 PM       View Profile for freeand2sexy   Email freeand2sexy   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit freeand2sexy's Home Page   View IP for freeand2sexy

Thanks for the suggestions, your so so right about how abreviations or slang might take away from the power of the poem, but i guess the word 'cuz' is just me, and if you were to see all my poems i've posted i use cuz in most of them. it's just a part of my style and also how i talk. Thanks!!!

I love pancakes!!!
KandyGrl511
Member
since 11-30-2008
Posts 52
Michigan


6 posted 12-26-2008 10:04 PM       View Profile for KandyGrl511   Email KandyGrl511   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for KandyGrl511

i loved it. the poem is soo meaningful~!?!~

~R.I.P~ Scott Ackley and Klye McGuire~

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