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Teen Poetry #8
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LOSTinTHISworld
Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 94
canada

0 posted 2008-11-27 01:38 PM


i could drown in your smile
and dance in your tears
you take me away
so far away
to a place that i've dreamed of
to a place that i've feared
but i know your near
so i close my eyes
and i wait
for you to reach me
for you to touch me
are your eyes closed

maybe your wrong
and maybe its right
imagination running wild
maybe your right
and maybe its wrong
secrets are hidden
in the darkest of the light

please don't turn away
i need to hear you sing
the taste of your voice
is everything
can i hide in your shadow
and breathe through your soul
dont leave me alone
so i open my eyes
and i wait
for you to see me
for you to need me
have you opened your eyes

maybe your wrong
and maybe its right
imagination running wild
maybe your right
and maybe its wrong
secrets are hidden
in the darkest of the light

i know i'm broken
but i've seen you cry
can you put me together
if i dry your eyes...




memento mori

[This message has been edited by LOSTinTHISworld (11-27-2008 11:34 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 becky dudley - All Rights Reserved
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334
California
1 posted 2008-11-28 01:33 AM


I loved this..
maybe your wrong
and maybe its right
imagination running wild
maybe your right
and maybe its wrong
secrets are hidden
in the darkest of the light

please don't turn away
i need to hear you sing
the taste of your voice
is everything
can i hide in your shadow
and breathe through your soul


I really liked it- it was well written and theres emotion and beauty of language here. You have talent- and I liked how elegant and simple the wording was but how amazing it was at the same time.
Good write!
Rhia

Ringo
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes
2 posted 2008-11-28 11:32 AM


Becky- I have been away from the blue pages for a bit, and if this write is any indication of what I have missed, then I have truly missed out... Another great job.

What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?.
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

freeand2sexy
Senior Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 704
CA, USA
3 posted 2008-11-28 03:21 PM


Really really good. I enjoyed reading it.

I love pancakes!!!

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