Forget formalities and consequences of vice for just a moment pretend this is right, your eyes are in the distance while your body is in my grasp i wonder where you are but am afraid to ask. Let's pretend this one time that cheats are laudable agents and that all the other girls this evening will remain patient. Are we practicing choreography as much as we hope or are these the awkward stammers of kids that should elope? Let's keep this all quiet even though I want to scream, maybe a gasp will let you know what I mean. This all feels so eerily familiar inside my head although last night it wasn't you in my bed.
This is amazing...I love it! ...Although (and maybe its just because I'm dead tired) it seems to rhyme in spots...and not in others...and if it does, I'm sure its the way you want it, it just threw me off a little bit. But as I said...I'm dead tired, so that might just be me.
Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming. -Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun
WOW WOW WOW.. U so made me want u then.. like pull me in the bedroom slam the door want lolz..awesome graphical pictues in my head right now.. OF this girl n guy leaning agaisnt the corner of a building in a darkened room vowing his love her.. WOW... loved IT!!
thank you all so much for reading it. Rebelangel~ I kinda messed up my line breaks so it appears that it doesn't rhyme in some spots but if you read it out loud, you'll see that it does all rhyme. I was trying to emphasize certain words visually, but I think it messed up the flow. Revenge~ haha, I had no idea this poem would have that effect! Glad it did though
wow Alex! this is very different than what I remember anything of yours sounding like and i like that you took it in a different direction. The last line threw me! I did not expect that at all! great write!