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Passions in Poetry

Hopscotch On The Rocks (I'm Shaken, Not Stirred)

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young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


0 posted 10-14-2008 07:35 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for young_blood

My lips usher in the flow
of ice cold wind
below my teeth when I
howl
to an October grey.
With wisdom inside,
the sky rarely lies
on evenings when I should be asleep.
When heavy drink's not enough
to settle this bluff,
I let my feet
gasp
for a breath of air.
My toes usher in the flow
of ice cold wind
below my feet when I
sigh
to an October grey.
© Copyright 2008 Alex Lewis - All Rights Reserved
young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


1 posted 10-19-2008 03:24 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

kinda disappointed that no one has commented yet.
Jrocc
New Member
since 10-28-2008
Posts 7
Australia, Vic


2 posted 10-28-2008 02:55 AM       View Profile for Jrocc   Email Jrocc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Jrocc

I like it

It was hard for me to determine the meaning, either because i'm a beginner poet, or because it is made for the readers own interpretation, or both.

But after reading over it a few times, i really liked it. Although i am having trouble of understanding the relevance of the lips and the feet relating to eachother, but again, beginer.
RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 07-08-2006
Posts 832
Australia


3 posted 10-28-2008 03:09 AM       View Profile for RevengeIsMine   Email RevengeIsMine   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for RevengeIsMine

OMG I AM SO SORRY

I didn't even see this..STUPID GIRL!

Loved it as always hunni.. I've just been sooo busy i didn't see it.. Post again Soon!
young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


4 posted 10-30-2008 12:02 AM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

This is a description of jumping off something. I got base jumping a bit and I always yell right before I jump (the bit about the lips) and I've always wanted to try it barefoot (the bit about the feet). So I was just describing the sensation while linking the two ideas with similar pattern. I'm glad you both checked it out! I'll post something new soon.
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 12-27-2002
Posts 8464
Florida


5 posted 10-30-2008 12:37 PM       View Profile for Susan Caldwell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Susan Caldwell

I really liked this and would like to see some more of your stuff.

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 01-21-2008
Posts 753
BC, Canada


6 posted 10-30-2008 07:12 PM       View Profile for Earl Robertson   Email Earl Robertson   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Earl Robertson

Wow you had me completely lost. I wouldn't have guessed this was about jumping in a million years, but now that I read it again...wow.
Well done!

OH SHUT UP SHUT UP AND GIVE SOMEONE ELSE A CHANCE!!!!
young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


7 posted 10-30-2008 09:13 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

Thank you both for visiting, stop by anytime.
tearsoflove13762
Member
since 09-05-2004
Posts 490
Texas.. and yes i have an acce


8 posted 12-06-2008 04:19 AM       View Profile for tearsoflove13762   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for tearsoflove13762

I like that with your poems I cannot usually tell what you mean by it. I like being able to make it have meaning for myself that is completely different than your meaning or that of someone else. After reading what it meant to you, I went back and read it a few more times. To me it is like one of those pictures that some people see one thing and others see another- but when shown the other meaning they can see both but still mainly see the original image they saw... if that makes sense at all.. ha ha
rhia_5779
Senior Member
since 06-09-2006
Posts 1304
California


9 posted 12-06-2008 01:12 PM       View Profile for rhia_5779   Email rhia_5779   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for rhia_5779

Whoa I love the images! Its so creative! I liked the way you used language and format to present this! Nice write!
Rhia
young_blood
Senior Member
since 09-19-2003
Posts 1118
Indianapolis, IN


10 posted 12-07-2008 08:04 PM       View Profile for young_blood   Email young_blood   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for young_blood

thank you both for reading.
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 06-18-2006
Posts 2539
Canada


11 posted 12-08-2008 01:24 AM       View Profile for hunnie_girl   Email hunnie_girl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for hunnie_girl

WOW you have always blown me away with your words
Krysti
 
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