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Teen Poetry #8

Handle With Care

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

0 posted 2008-10-05 03:37 PM

Be gentle, honey
Handle with care
For I am breakable
Hold me close
Just for a moment
Let all that's bad
Fade away from me

I've been saving
Millions of smiles
Reaching all the way up
To my big blue eyes
Just for you

Maybe I'll let you see one
...Or two

As long as you're careful baby
For I am so fragile
My heart and my world
Are made of rose-colored glass

Caution, Honey,
Handle with Care

BeyaK
Member

since 2008-08-07

Posts 126
Philippines

1 posted 2008-10-05 11:42 PM

love reading it...sweet with a nice flow. :-)

~~*K. B.*~~

Taylor See
Member

since 2008-10-07

Posts 55
North Carolina, US

2 posted 2008-10-07 03:32 PM

Good poem. I like the idea and the flow you created.

The one suggestion I have is in the line about saving smiles, instead of saying "reaching" use a different world like stacking (Not really stacking, but a verb like it)so that the millions of smiles are stacking (again, not necessarily that exact word) up to your eyes.

Keep going!

-Taylor

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

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