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Octave
Member

since 2008-07-29

Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

0 posted 2008-10-01 02:57 PM

Shock! Horror! It doesn't rhyme! Enjoy!

The Joke's On Me

Laugh, just laugh
Laugh like it's not true
Be nothing else
Nothing else but you

Take it as it comes
Smile though your heart
Is aching, breaking
Laugh, just laugh

The joke's on me,
The joke's on you
When you trip, fall
Get up and

Laugh, just laugh
You are free as.
You can be no other
Than your simple self

So why not just
Do as you want
Dance as you want
Be who you want

This is yours
And only yours
So do as you please
Say what you please

Just laugh, laugh
Laugh like it's not true
Be nothing else
Nobody else but you.

freeand2sexy
Senior Member

since 2008-09-12

Posts 704
CA, USA

1 posted 2008-10-01 07:11 PM

It's awesome!!!!!! I liked it alot!!!!!! It made me laugh, what a shock

Live in the present but don't forget the future

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

2 posted 2008-10-02 11:48 PM

It's realy great.. I love it.. Well done!

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

3 posted 2008-10-03 05:09 PM

Wonderful. I understand what you're talking about and I hope you're OK.

Taylor See
Member

since 2008-10-07

Posts 55
North Carolina, US

4 posted 2008-10-07 03:27 PM

I loved this poem! Amazing, amazing.

Who cares if it rhymes? It's great on its own.

My absolute favorite lines:

Laugh, just laugh
You are free as.
You can be : no other
Than your simple self

I loved how you used "you can be" in two different sentences. Like they blended.
Sorta like:
"You are free as
You can be "
+
"You can be no other
Than your simple self"

Very cool! Keep it up!

And as each player moves their piece, confident and tall
They forget that they can move themselves, in the greatest game of all

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

5 posted 2008-10-08 04:40 PM

This is really good! I liked it and I hope your doing better. Great work!

-Zach

"I'd rather be anything but ordinary!!"

Octave
Member

since 2008-07-29

Posts 186
Highlands, Scotland.

6 posted 2008-10-10 02:03 PM

Awh, thanks guys. Maybe i should write non-rhyming poems more often.

BeyaK
Member

since 2008-08-07

Posts 126
Philippines

7 posted 2008-10-10 11:36 PM

this is a great write... i enjoyed it and it isn't that bad... nice one!

~~*K. B.*~~

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

8 posted 2008-10-13 02:16 PM

honestly, there was nothing remarkable about this, but somehow it made me smile. something about it was...ironic? mischievous? it reminds me of the first time i heard bright eyes...hmmm...thank you for brightening my day a little more.

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