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Teen Poetry #8
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Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

0 posted 2008-08-27 10:33 PM


what have we become
blistered by the sun
waiting for an answer
that will never come

when words are greater than actions
we get led by our distractions
and its hard to see what i believe

you can give me your cancer
and let it eat me inside
leave me with this illness
let it be mine
and i would save you
and be your light
be your knight in shining armor
and help you win this fight

if you said burn
id say wheres the match
douse me in gasoline
and forget about the past

id burn for you
to see you smile
im lost inside these memories
all the while

© Copyright 2008 Bryan Lucas - All Rights Reserved
RevengeIsMine
Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820
Australia
1 posted 2008-08-27 11:47 PM


OMG blow me away why don't you.. amazing...

I'd burn for u anyday!

DeSi - BG
Junior Member
since 2008-08-12
Posts 18
BULGARIA
2 posted 2008-08-28 01:37 PM


This  is a really lovely one. I enjoy reeding it.

-Desi-

The Fate That You Will Win Is The Half Battle, The Other Half Is In The Way You Fight!!!

WaterFairy103
Member
since 2006-05-31
Posts 196

3 posted 2008-08-28 10:06 PM


Another flawless poem. = ] Fabulous.  Very good emotion in there, I really loved it!

Do the day, and let the day do you. - S. King

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062
In Love <3
4 posted 2008-08-29 10:52 PM


Ahhhh, you made me tear up!

what have we become
blistered by the sun
waiting for an answer
that will never come

these were my favorite lines. You are masterful.

-Kate

"Lucy: I think you are the most selfish person on the planet. George: Well that's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet?"

Revon
Junior Member
since 2008-08-29
Posts 15

5 posted 2008-08-29 11:54 PM


Very beautiful. I know what its like to want to protect someone with everything you have
BeyaK
Member
since 2008-08-07
Posts 126
Philippines
6 posted 2008-08-30 03:00 AM


wow... this is something that I would love to read. it is really a nice one. love the emotion and though sad it's such a sweet piece.
Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member
since 2008-05-08
Posts 422
Canada
7 posted 2008-08-30 12:47 PM


this was really touching. i loved the imagry once again that you put in my head. it all blended together really nicely. great poem, very well written

~*Julianna*~

"You don't know me...but I know you. That's all that matters right now... Mr.Rainey!" - Secret Window

thegreatsicknasty
Junior Member
since 2008-08-31
Posts 11

8 posted 2008-08-31 09:39 PM


"when words are greater than actions
we get led by our distractions
and its hard to see what i believe"

I loved that verse. your poetry reminds me on mine. thats a good thing casue ive very picky about what i read and i actually read this one. good job.

JD555
New Member
since 2008-09-12
Posts 1

9 posted 2008-09-12 10:03 PM


Wow, this really struck me as amazing. It sums exactly how I feel about my ex. Again, amazing stuff.
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