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Teen Poetry #8
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Your the only one
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Your the only one |
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I am the arch angel Member
since 2008-02-02
Posts 167nowhere,illinois,USA |
This is actually a song that i just wrote at 3:30 a.m. more endless nights of non sleeping....but please tell me what you think 'cause this is my first song. enjoy -------------------------------------------------------- Her smiles and her laughter, They're the only things I'm waiting for Writing till the final chapter Differences to open the unseen door You've caused me pain to this day What happened,I'm still confused I'll still have this until I fade My broken heart thats been abused.. (chorus bit) Regardless of the distance of us between Your like no one I have ever seen Nothing can stop me Your like no one I have ever seen Until i am with you again My heart will forever bleed -- For the First time since December It's been so cold, to cold to sleep The times we spent, do you remember? I'll miss you more than you can ever see Regardless of the distance of us between Your like no one i have ever seen Nothing can stop me Your like no one i have ever seen Until i am with you again My heart will forever bleed My heart will forever bleeeed..... please tell me how bad you think this is and a "thank you" to everyone who wastes there time to read my poetry thank you you have been great to me i love you all If its at its worst don't stop believing, because I'm right here and I'm not leaving |
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| © Copyright 2008 Keagan lear - All Rights Reserved | |||
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shattered-smiles Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 247inside the shadows |
Hey Keagan, these are really great lyrics. You may doubt this, but you have always had a way with words. Whether it be just a simple pep talk or a heartfelt conversation or an in-depth poem. You have a way with the words, they sort of just find your mouth and make the world seem alright for the moment. Never stop writing sweetie, you're amazing at it. *xoxo* TJ So cut me into pieces and tape me into something beautiful... |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
Wow. I thought this was fantastic. And I agree with Tori, there's always something. Library. {~~*~~} "You are not loyal enough to eat my orange jelly beans!...'cuase dat's just how I roll.." |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
Amazing song and lyric's Keagan. I agree with Tori.. "Only in darkness can we see the stars. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Keagan~ Only because you ask for critique do I offer this - Your means something belonging to you~ You are or You're would be the correct usage~ I don't know how it works as a song, but it works as a poem~  (with the noted correction) *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Aww this is pretty cool Keagan PANTS... Jess love's u no matter what hun.. weather u spell well or not.. I'm ur big aussie sister n Eamon Sullivan is gunna kick Phelps but.... COME ON AUSSIE COME ON..!!!! |
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eternally_singing Member
since 2007-12-18
Posts 123PA, United States |
Fantastic write! |
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Assassin_of_Verse Member
since 2007-10-23
Posts 330that So Cal |
Forgive me for not being the first to comment on this. I tried writing a song once, and it frustrated me very much. As for the song itself, how long did you spend on this? I agree with the others when they say you have a way with words, but I'm sure that with a little more work, you could turn this into something really good. -Andrew There is power in the pen. |
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