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Teen Poetry #8

From A Heartbeat

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 422
Canada

0 posted 2008-07-14 10:05 AM

Okay, so this is probably one of my worst poems, but whatever. You can be the judge of thet.

Across the room you were there...
And your heartbeat drew me towards you.
Nothing on earth sounds as beautiful,
As the simple rhythm of the heart.

While I came closer you skipped a beat,
Trying not to look at me.
You obviously failed miserably,
After asking for my phone number.

Walking over to you was the best decision
That I’ve ever made.
Although you don’t realize it now,
But your heartbeat drew me to you.

For you can make me laugh,
And open up again — to trust again.
For all you’ve admitted to me,
Has only made us grow together.

~*Julianna*~

"This lullaby is only a few words
A simple run of chords
Quiet here in this spare room
But only you can hear it, hear it..."
-Sara

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2008-07-14 11:58 AM

I wouldn't say this is your best... But this isn't half bad..

Keep your hopes up and keep up the writing!

~Zach~

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb....,"he murmured. "What a stupid lamb," I sighed. "What a sick, masochistic lion."

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

2 posted 2008-07-14 01:29 PM

i agree good but not your best. still enjoyed.

Just.Another.Falling.Star
Member

since 2008-05-08

Posts 422
Canada

3 posted 2008-07-14 01:51 PM

thanks who reviewed!

~*Julianna*~

"This lullaby is only a few words
A simple run of chords
Quiet here in this spare room
But only you can hear it, hear it..."
-Sara

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