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HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

0 posted 2008-06-22 11:24 PM

Hey sorry it's been awhile. Things have been crazy. I wrote this the other day while visiting with jake. Its really bad but I'm like in a slump can't seem to write a decent poem.

Assembly Required:

Broken into pieces
Not well wired
If you come across me
Some assembly is required

There's been a lot of damage
Much destruction taken place
Some parts lost forever
Impossible to trace

Fractured
Split
Some sections
Just don't fit

A fragment
A shard
With no directions
It is hard

Go ahead and try
Don't get too tired
If you come across me
Some assembly is required

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

1 posted 2008-06-22 11:30 PM

Wow Daniel. I really liked this! It lacks your signature overwhelming emotion but makes up for it (in my book) with a sense of urgency and the number of meanings contained.

There's been a lot of damage
Much destruction taken place
Some parts lost forever
Impossible to trace

Brilliance.

There's a fine line between Genius and Insanity
I have Erased that Line
-Mark Paron

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2008-06-23 05:50 PM

WOAH!!! you really do have some talent girl!\Krysti

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

3 posted 2008-06-23 05:53 PM

yeah you have mad talent!

HersheyKiss
Member

since 2008-06-02

Posts 137
New Jersey

4 posted 2008-06-23 06:20 PM

thanks guys

lost-in-a-mind-of-dreams
Junior Member

since 2008-05-24

Posts 35

5 posted 2008-06-23 06:35 PM

wow i really like this to!

*****dreamer*****

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

6 posted 2008-06-23 09:33 PM

I love this. One thing that I wish I could do is ryhme with such grace as you have. Everything just flows no matter where you break the lines. Brilliant.

{~~*~~}

"You are not loyal enough to eat my orange jelly beans!...'cuase dat's just how I roll.."
{~Emily~}

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

7 posted 2008-06-24 02:11 AM

i love this your so talented

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

eternally_singing
Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 123
PA, United States

8 posted 2008-06-24 04:43 PM

Good job! loved this

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