Do I Say Sorry First??? - pipTalk Forums

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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2008-06-03 08:09 AM

So guys i was going through my folders and found this poem, its pretty old but i didn't post it on here cause it wasn't very good... still isn't even though i've made some changes.. anyways enjoy!

So Do I Stay Sorry First???

The broken arguments of sorrow linger in the air
Today they hold the only hope of life ever being fair
There jagged at the edges, cut scars that hurt like hell
But how far do you go, when they put you in a cell

I can’t say that I adore him, but deep down I guess I care
After all he is my father, and I have his hair
I remember all the good things, but I hate him for the bad
Hate the way he used be, how he always seemed to be mad

The scars he’s left are bleeding; after all he dug them deep
But know he’s locked in a cell and all those memories he can keep
He has a wife you know, but yet he comes to me
I am I really that gullible, can that he really see

I guess it was my fault, we argued once again
Then he walked off, went to have a beer with the men
Told me I wasn’t worth it, I told him to get stuffed
After the lie’s he’d told me, he tells me he’s got it tough

So he got into a fight and they chucked him in a cell
Then he phoned up me, n I told him to go to hell
I guess now I regret it, I shouldn’t of did what I did
But I guess I’m just ashamed, ashamed of being his kid

The nightmares of my past, they haunt me here tonight
The only way to escape them is to make them right
So I’m standing on your door step expecting only the worst
It opens and I stand there “ So Do I say sorry first?”

Belinda
Member

since 2006-01-30

Posts 126
UK

1 posted 2008-06-03 08:20 AM

That was a really good write, great structure aswell.
Really sad actually but very impressive.

Likewise by the way, you need a chat, I'm here.

Belinda~*

Expect nothing, Prepare for anything.

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

2 posted 2008-06-03 05:32 PM

I love this. It's verry good, as are all of your poems. Great write hun, library.

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2008-06-03 08:04 PM

This is really good Jess. The tempo or what ever you wanna call it, was off but that was the only thing that i thought was wrong.. And even with those flaws, The poem still amazed me and held me captive in your words.. Great write!

P.S. I remember someone once told me "don't sell yourself short."

sound familiar to ya'?

"It might be easy to fall for someone but it's also easy to break a heart." - Zach Booker.

kissmexbaby6605
New Member

since 2008-01-23

Posts 8
Georgia

4 posted 2008-06-04 12:53 PM

that was really deep but so good

Aditi
New Member

since 2008-06-06

Posts 3

5 posted 2008-06-06 06:29 AM

A very good one. I liked the poem . The structure is really nice. You seem to be a very good Poetess

Clockwork_Orange
Senior Member

since 2007-03-23

Posts 620
Space Camp, IN

6 posted 2008-06-07 11:38 PM

hey its real good to read some of your work, nice by the way.

idk why u thought it wasnt good. its not my favorite, but its real good.

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