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Teen Poetry #8

Here among the ending

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

0 posted 2008-05-13 06:46 PM

Okay this one guys i think is really bad.. really i do.. im just posting out of bordum. haha. I think im lossing my talent in writing. So anyway.. here it is..
~Zach~

---------------------------------------------

Well here it is, the ending of time
It came just as fast, we're all blind
It was hidden by mystery, Forgot by truth.
But curled up in fear, listening to the fatal cries.
Of children and sinners; all alike.
Dirty tears stream down the face of the innocent.
Rain of fire, Smoke of fear.. Praying that it'll all go away.
Finding my place among the ashes..
The cries and sceams of the forsaken fill the air.
Please god, make this go away.
Here is the rapture.
Hidden by the lies of the mortals..
Like we could of never saw it comeing.

~Zach~

"Fate leads the willing, and drags along the reluctant."

XxForever.BrokenxX
Senior Member

since 2008-01-20

Posts 891
Neverland

1 posted 2008-05-13 07:14 PM

I don't think it's bad. I like it. Great job

{~~*~~}

{&]ebbing.away.from*my.pain.}}
{~Emily~}

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

2 posted 2008-05-14 05:40 AM

I don't think it's bad at all. Nice write

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

Bahigano
Junior Member

since 2008-05-13

Posts 31
Nebraska

3 posted 2008-05-15 02:40 PM

I think every writer thinks their writting is bad so i'm here to tell you i thought it was good. mabe not as good as some of your others but it wasn't so bad that i wouldn't read it.
love
Lea

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