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Teen Poetry #8
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maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx

0 posted 2008-04-20 02:43 PM


HEY CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IF THIS POEM IS GOOD OR NOT AND ALSO I NEED A TITLE FOR THIS POEM THANKS

I want you to be with me forever and always
Because I just need you in everyway
Because you’re the one who broke my heart
Because You’re the one who tore it apart
You’re the one who my heart cries for
You’re the one who my heart dies for
It seems like I cant let go of you
It seems like I cant get over you
I don’t know how I will survive without you
I don’t know what I will do without you
I don’t want you to be out of my life
Because there’s no way I will be able to survive
All I can do is wait for you everyday and night
When the sunrays are out and when the stars are shining bright
All I could do is dream about you  holding me tight
But gosh this dream was real
Because you’re the only one who I feel
I have tried to live without you
I have tried to survive without you
I have tried to let go of you
I have tried to get over you
But I just noticed that this love for you keeps on growing
And my tears will always keep on flowing
These feelings will never go away
These feelings  will always stay with me in everyway
It seems like you cast a spell on me
It seems like I will never be free
It seems like I have no choice but to love you all my life
And try to make my self survive
Especially When im without you
and that’s the best I can do
I just love you so much
And I just want to feel your touch
But no matter what you will stay inside of me
Because theres no way I can be free
But Gosh you knew what I felt
Because you’re the one who cause my heart to melt
I just cant see myself getting separated\from you
Because I wont have a clue of what to do
You have been always on my side
And I have these feelings for you that I have been hiding inside
Gosh you were the one for me
Gosh I could see the love that you have for me
Gosh I was with you rite now
Gosh I was in your arms anyhow
Gosh you could see this love that I have for you
Gosh  I knew what to do when I fell in love with you
I wish I never became so close to you
I wish I knew what to do when I became so close to you
Gosh there was something that I can do
Gosh you could have fell for me too
Gosh I could tell you how I feel about you
But the real words of my feelings wont come out right
They wont sound right
All you could do is listen to my heartbeat
All you could do is feel my heartbeat
All you could do is go inside my mind
And see what I have been hiding inside
But no matter your always going to be with me

BY MEEEEE

© Copyright 2008 madiha - All Rights Reserved
ShawtySheFly
Member
since 2007-12-19
Posts 71
In his Elevator (LOL)
1 posted 2008-04-21 11:30 AM


uh its good, long but good.....title suggestions? Hmmmmm? How bout "W/ you"
or "W/O you" maybe uh nevermind idk but yeah good write

I.>ROCK"my<Converse^cuz%i'm`RETRO*likeDAT

maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
2 posted 2008-04-21 04:34 PM


thanks for the complimnt
crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
3 posted 2008-04-22 06:54 PM


hey hey,
  like always, t'was really good! fer a title, maybe "like a dream", or "dreaming with you".
  !Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
4 posted 2008-04-22 07:09 PM


thanks hehe
midnightdreamer
Member
since 2008-02-03
Posts 309
Roy,ut
5 posted 2008-04-22 09:07 PM


great poem!! maybe something like "When your beside me." again great poem.

midnightdreamer

black beautiful eyes looking back at me telling me, no fear will show.

maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
6 posted 2008-04-22 09:41 PM


thank u
frail
Junior Member
since 2008-05-04
Posts 12

7 posted 2008-05-04 01:03 AM


What about "Listen To My Heart" or "My Heartbeat"?
maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
8 posted 2008-05-04 01:23 PM


ummm thanks but i think i alreayd got the title foor it but i forgot wut its callednwo
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