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rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

0 posted 2008-04-15 12:11 PM

why do you think this?
im not in love with him
he was just a rebound
besides he likes my friend

it is not love
its just a simple crush
i had to put my eyes on someone
so i wouldnt think of you so much

no i dont know whats been hurting you
im surprised that you get jealous or mad
but there must be something more
cause i know im not worth anything like that

did you really think that you
deserve a place in my heart?
did you expect me to die and not move on
after you made us fall apart?

but to be completely honest
most of it is still devoted to you
but im just so frightened and scared
that i really dont know what to do

there are times are night
that i just cry and shake
waiting for that pain from another to come
and wondering whats left of me to take

i wish that i could run to you
hoping that youd make it okay
but the thing that holds me back
is that your the one im afraid of in the first place

but it really doesnt matter
becuase you havent made any moves
you havent asked to see me in person
its obvious the way youre gunna choose

you havent deleted your interent sites
nor learned to control your tongue
you still dont trust me at all
and im not going to wait for long

i dont really know what else to say
i hardly know what to think
i cant even tell what my real feelings are
right now im just a useless loveless living being

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

1 posted 2008-04-15 09:51 AM

I love how you put such stong emotions and feelings in this. i know it must be pretty hard going through something like this. Hope things get better!! oh and Great write!

~Zach~

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

2 posted 2008-04-15 05:05 PM

I think zach said it all, nice write

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

hiddensmiles
Senior Member

since 2008-02-07

Posts 514
at the beach... i wish

3 posted 2008-04-15 07:16 PM

yes great write
........lib.......

JJ

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

4 posted 2008-04-16 12:40 PM

cool..

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

5 posted 2008-04-17 08:52 AM

It was a well written poem straight from the heart and that's what I liked most about it, amazing write

Jaki H
Member

since 2008-01-19

Posts 232
NJ, USA

6 posted 2008-04-17 09:28 AM

oh i love it! the third stanza especially, the last line is really strong.

the only thing, the line
after you made us fall apart?
why dont you change it to after you tore us apart? its fits a bit better with the rhyme scheme. its really fine either way though...

im impressed! its hard to keep up the intensity in a poem that long but you definately did!

great job

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

7 posted 2008-04-18 11:40 AM

ohh leah hunn... I love this it flowed so nicely and had such emotion...
hope things gett better Love you sweetie
Krysti

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

8 posted 2008-04-21 10:55 PM

thanx everyone, it was written straight from the heart so it prolly did have lots of emotion in it, jaki i liked ur suggestion thank u.
thank everyone

only a vampire can love you forever.
forbidden to remember, terrified to forget

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