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Teen Poetry #8
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DancinQueen
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

0 posted 2008-03-25 12:51 PM


Perfect Destruction

As you smoke your Marlboros
you thumb taps your 5th cup
of coffee this morning.
The wrinkles around your eyes
seen more distinct today.
Your hands remind me of my father's,
over-worked and over hurt.
There are tears in your eyes
that refuse to flow;
they're trapped behind addiction
and the life you pretend to live.
You've accepted a false identity;
the screw-up, the addict,
the no excuses I'm not sorry
son, brother, friend and lover.
When you smile at me
I see the chip in your tooth
from another night of careless drinking,
but the blue in your eyes is a little brighter
and all I want to do
is hold your hand.
Maybe it's the way
you love cherry Starbrusts
as much as I do
or how you say "shore"
instead of "sure" just
to get under my skin.
It could be how I've never
seen you wear white socks
or how you always have
to be touching me somehow.
What I do know is
you're my perfect destruction,
the skip in my heartbeat,
and the "good morning"
I want to stick around.

I've been MIA for like 5 years ha And I'm not even a teenager anymore, but I thought I'd pop in and post something for old time's sake  


**You can't always trust the people you want to**

© Copyright 2008 Kiley - All Rights Reserved
hunnie_girl
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567
Canada
1 posted 2008-03-25 03:33 AM


Wow Kiley, I wasnt here when you were in Teen. But i can tell you there is not to many teen members that used to be here. sadly all.. went away. I loved this poem it was so vivid!!!! Glad to have you back hope you drop a line or too back. or maybe I'll just have to go looking around for more of your poems.. I love the red starburts lots too!!! hehe hope to read more soon!
Krysti

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2008-03-25 10:53 AM


well I remember you! welcome back!

seriously loved this

"What I do know is
you're my perfect destruction,
the skip in my heartbeat,
and the "good morning"
I want to stick around."

especially this part.

Earl Robertson
Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753
BC, Canada
3 posted 2008-03-27 07:30 AM


This was beutiful!

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

hiddensmiles
Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514
at the beach... i wish
4 posted 2008-03-27 11:50 PM


Nice write!
xbrokenxlullabyx
Junior Member
since 2007-12-25
Posts 36
NJ, U.S.A.
5 posted 2008-03-29 08:51 PM


you're my perfect destruction,
the skip in my heartbeat,
and the "good morning"
I want to stick around.

i really really love that bit. also, i like at the begining when you describe him. there are afew awkward lines, but overall it's wonderful.

nice job, stay at passions! who cares if you aren't a teen?

Susanna V.

Virtual Abyss
Member
since 2008-04-09
Posts 52
East Coast - USA
6 posted 2008-04-13 01:50 AM


Kiley,

Right up my alley!  Awesome Awesome Awesome!  I see life has moved quite quickly since you've grown up and you obviously have devoted your time to other things.  Hopefully soon you will realize you still need "ME" time and you'll come back to what you love.  What the heck, you're awesome at it and we all know what it can do for us in our own little ways.  I know I'll be here looking for you to pop back up.  Good luck and be SAFE!

V/r,

Virtual Abyss


wisdomofthesword
Member
since 2007-12-17
Posts 224
the last place on earth
7 posted 2008-04-13 03:07 AM


awesome i love it

I don't care if you think I'm a fool but don't ever tell me so

Jaki H
Member
since 2008-01-19
Posts 232
NJ, USA
8 posted 2008-04-13 08:00 PM


wow! so detailed its like we can see the thing playing out in front of us! and its half-poem half-story... i love it!
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