Lover's War On 32nd & 9th - pipTalk Forums

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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2008-03-21 01:47 AM

Well guys hmm i'm not sure i like this, i'm not sure if its my best.. this poem is about my aunt and uncle there relationship ended a few years back.. put a huge strain on the family, she swore she'd come back, she never did really. Fragments of this poem are old work I've had in notebooks but never finished... and i only really decided to write about it after i heard the song Hang by Matchbox 20.. anyways here's my poem.. not sure what to think of it but u guys will tell me..
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Lover's War On 32nd & 9th

If you want a poem that gets attention
Then this the way it goes
So grab a drink and kill your last brain cells
And we’ll drink to what we know

He sits there and he’s broken
Like apart of him’s been torn
I guess she’s really gone
And her memory has been born

If this is the last day of her life then this is really goodbye
After all the promises she’d made, after all the words she’d wrote
She grabs her magazines, she packs her things and she goes
She leaves her picture on the wall, she leaves you a note

She’d only been here two small years
But it wasn’t right to feel this old
He’d brought out the worst in her
He made her lifeless and cold

She’d always told him
That she’d go away
Come back a few years later
And then he could convince her to stay

So if there’s nothing there
And you’ve got nothing left to say
Then I’m afraid she’ll be leaving
She’ll just walk away

Trouble is he don’t understand
That she’s got reasons he don’t
It’s funny how he couldn’t see it
Until she grabbed her coat
You scream out to her but she goes
She’s been here too few years she can’t keep saying no
Deep down you really love her
But still you let her go

This won’t work out like you think
This won’t be a lyric that can be sang
There’s nothing there to ease the pain
So I’m afraid her presence will just hang

He drinks his whisky
but his hand reaches for the phone
But then it really hits him
If he had a heart he wouldn’t be alone

If you want a poem that gets attention
Then this the way it goes
So grab a drink and kill yourbrain cells
And we’ll drink to what we know

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2008-03-21 01:53 AM

ohh wow Jess hunn.. i love this.. such a powerful write

Krysti

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

2 posted 2008-03-21 02:14 AM

Thanks Krysti... means soo much..

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2008-03-21 11:59 AM

wow this is really good!!

XxZachxX

I am the arch angel
Member

since 2008-02-02

Posts 167
nowhere,illinois,USA

4 posted 2008-03-25 12:06 PM

obviously this is a wonderful wright and i like it a lot! jess as i said before on one of your poems that you have some great talent and i hope things in your life go better

much love!

keagan

earn your freedom of the charge of sacrificing your life for others

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