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Teen Poetry #8
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maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx

0 posted 2008-03-09 08:03 PM


its been a long time that i havent been here but u see i rote this poem and it rhymes and i never did rhymes so this is my 1st poem that has rhyme in it and i want u gusy to tll me how it is and ineed a title for this poem and thanks by the way


The lightning flashes
the thunder clashes
bringing all the rain
bringing all the pain
me going insane
all the rain that creates a flood
my tears that turn into blood
me just going crazy
me just being lazy
me just thinking away
me just sinking away
sinking away into your thoughts and wishing you were mine
me just waiting to be next in line
i just wish u were mine only mine
my heart which starts to burn like fire
having all kinds of desires
me just crying the tears of pain
while it just rains
what am i supposed to gain
i was supposed to gain your love
like a white little dove
but instead u brought the blak crows that fly
you also brought the grey clouds in the sky
causing all the rain
causing all the pain
looks like it will never stop
looks like my tears will alwasy drop
all i want is you to wipe away my tears
all i want is you to take away my fears
all i want is you to hold me tight
all i want is you to make me feel bright
all i do is dream about you at night
so that i could never loose your sight
your the only one who i wait for
your the only one who i have faith for
your the only one who makes me fly away
your the only one who makes me feel shy right away
but in my heart im really dying inside
in my heart im really crying inside
i just wish u loved me back
because your the one who caused my life to be in black
i just wish you felt this way
because you cause my heart to melt in everyway
i jsut dont know what to do
since i fell in love with you
i wish i had a clue
when u broke my heart into 2
i jsut wihs you knew
how much i want to be with you
you just put ur lust on me
you just sprayed the magical dust on me
and brought me into your charms
now i just want to be into your arms
now the lightning flashes again
the thunder clashes again
bringing all the rain all over again
bringing all the pain all over again
me going insane
me just sitting here by the window pane
and looking at the rain
while it just drains
and me just dreaming away
just streaming away
like the rain
BY ME

[This message has been edited by maddorani (03-10-2008 08:15 PM).]

© Copyright 2008 madiha - All Rights Reserved
crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
1 posted 2008-03-09 08:30 PM


hey hey,
  i liked the poem. for a title... maybe "healing of a broken heart", "my pain is washed away," or "storm dreaming"? what ever, it's your poem.:*:. loved it!
  !Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
2 posted 2008-03-09 08:48 PM


thanks
maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
3 posted 2008-03-09 08:49 PM


how about if i name it tears of pain
crimsonXnails
Member
since 2008-02-10
Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.
4 posted 2008-03-10 03:02 PM


hey hey,
  sounds great, but you'd better rename it quickly. if you leave it too long, it wont let you edit. great work!
  !Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
5 posted 2008-03-10 04:15 PM


thanks i named it tears of pain
maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
6 posted 2008-03-10 04:17 PM


hwo am i supposed to edit it
Falling rain
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Member Elite
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois
7 posted 2008-03-10 05:04 PM


the little icons above your poem.. one should say "edit" there you can change it. also you got a spelling error. black is missed spelled when you said "you gave my blak crows whom fly" idk how it acctually goes but great poem!!!

~Zach~  

~*With the wind and my heart at my side. I'll live the life i want*~



maddorani
Member
since 2007-11-18
Posts 423
houston,tx
8 posted 2008-03-10 08:13 PM


thanks
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